tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80326638287759013162024-03-24T00:51:42.497-07:00Am I losing the place?
Our Mum's Care Diary Vadlizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03614537297516619742noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8032663828775901316.post-49134657308861434072017-04-28T05:19:00.125-07:002024-02-01T08:17:55.354-08:00<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">26 July 2008</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I think I might have made that up</span></b></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum was
well into her 90s when we took her on memories trips around Scotland. One was
to see some of the places she was stationed at during the War. Another was a
visit to an island – Lismore – off Oban to see the land of her Stewart
ancestors. Having spent a lot of time on the genealogy of her family, I was
puzzled that there seemed to be few links with the west coast. Sitting in a
cafe in Oban, I voiced my concerns. From across the table came a few titters: “<i>Oh
dear, I think I might have made that up,</i>” she said. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">26 Dec 2008</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Recently,
there have been incidents that have concerned us. One day I arrived at Mum’s to
find the house full of gas. She was sitting in the lounge reading, oblivious to
the smell. Then there was the electric kettle that melted on the gas hob. The
lodger got the blame for that. She is booked in for a memory test early next
year. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">My
brother and his partner came to see her for Christmas. I asked him if they were
going to take her out somewhere. He said "<i>No</i>", as though the
idea hadn't crossed his mind. Eventually, we drove separately to Ilkley and
arranged to meet at Craiglands Hotel for afternoon tea. I waited in the foyer
with Mum for 30 minutes beyond the appointed time. Mum couldn’t understand why
we were hanging about; we were just about to leave when they turned up, saying
they</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">d
been doing some window-shopping.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew
it wasn’t an oversight, but a deliberate snub, a childish attempt to put one
over on us.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">2 March 2009</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum
tripped on the steps as I was taking her for a walk. With my brother, who was
on a short visit, we got her back into the house and called her GP. Dr Yates
came out. She examined Mum from a distance of 3 feet, said there was nothing
broken and prescribed nothing. A week later, her usual doctor prescribed
medication for inflammation and sore ribs.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">30 March 2009</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">My
brother has proposed an overnight visit with my nephew to give us a short
break. He has booked a Megabus at a cost, he boasts, of £3. But it terminates
somewhere in south Bradford, so he wants me to pick him up. I tell him I do a
lot of running around for Mum (and for some of her friends) and want a break
from all that. He understands, sort of: “<i>I see. Will get a taxi but can you
take us back on Sunday morning?</i>”</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">31 March 2009</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We visit
Abbeyfield, a care home in Ilkley, and view a room reserved for respite use.
The staff seem happy and friendly. The place is spacious, light, well-equipped
and clean. Mum seems impressed with the flexibility of the place and its proximity
to the town. She would be happy to stay for a long weekend, but not for longer,
she declares. Later, she says, she would be OK to stay for a week. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">As a
trial, we book her in for 5 nights in June.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">4 April 2009</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">When my
brother and his son visit us, I bring up the question of funding Mum’s care. I
tell him I want a signed IOU stating that he will be responsible for a half
share of the costs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But he waves the
request aside saying I am splitting hairs. It’s not a good answer. Later, I
reflect that this is when the splitting of the heirs began.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">15 April 2009</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">In a
conciliatory mood, my brother writes: “<i>I much appreciate your sacrifice in
looking after Mum. I couldnt do it! I'd probably have to check in to the local
funny farm after a while!</i>”</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">This is
very welcome. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">He also
mentions a monthly payment to us of £300 to go towards looking after Mum, so
that he doesn’t have to. This is very welcome – except that he originally
offered (and we accepted) £325. Perhaps he hopes this subtle reduction in his
commitment will go unnoticed.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">8 June 2009</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Though
apprehensive at first, Mum seems to have enjoyed her first visit to the
Abbeyfield Respite Unit. The carers say she was a pleasure to look after: she
was pleasant to everyone; she kept to herself, reading in her room. She has
nothing derogatory to say about the experience except that the other residents
stick to their cliques and are very dull.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">28 August 2009</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">My
brother (N) and his partner (J) say they are coming up but prefer to have Mum
"<i>all to themselves</i>" so as to have "<i>quality time</i>"
with her. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">This is
because we don’t really get on: <u>we</u> think J is a bit of a know-it-all,
judgemental and confrontational, while N is lazy and doesn’t give a stuff about
his mother; <u>they</u> think we are rude, unwelcoming and are trying to shut
them out.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">On a
recent visit, he told me he thought of themselves as guests and complained that
we hadn’t offered them lunch before they journeyed back to London. (They <u>were</u> offered lunch but opted for a Mcdonald's.)</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">On
another occasion he made this gaslighting comment: “<i>I do not wish to
visit...again owing to your strange...behaviours, which you can take the blame
for entirely</i>”.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I
mention their plans to Mum. She says he just wants to ask for money to help
with her grandson’s school fees. But: "<i>the old lady hasn't got
any"</i> and, "<i>I'm certainly not giving money for school
fees"</i>. Pam tells her: "<i>he'll probably want to take you out to
an expensive restaurant and to take care of you at home". She </i>responds
with: "<i>That boy? You must be joking! He likes to tell people he can do
everything. He likes to do a lot of blowing</i>."</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">6 September 2009</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Collecting
Mum from Abbeyfield after a respite stay, we start to have our first doubts
about the place: Pam notices that Mum smells strongly of urine </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">
probably as a result of an earlier </span>‘<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">accident</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">13 September 2009</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We went
off to the Lakes for the weekend, while my brother and J took over. We got back
at five-ish, to find Mum alone – there was nobody at the house. When I phoned
to ask how it had gone, N said that J returned to London the previous day for
an urgent business meeting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thing is,
when I checked the phone records, he’d had a long conversation with someone in
Brighton, where J’s sister lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
concluded that they’d had an almighty row and J stormed off to her sister’s,
leaving Mum to the tender mercies of her son. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><a name="OLE_LINK1"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">5 November 2009</span></a></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">N visited </span></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">his
mother at Abbeyfield and took her to Betty’s Café. He thinks that a brief visit
every 6 months or so qualifies him to offer his opinion on her health: "<i>Mum
was fully alert with me and we walked from the home to the centre of Ilkley. I
sometimes wonder if all this hysteria about her not coping is just that</i>."</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">17 November 2009</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">She was still fully alert when, earlier
today, Mum wrote that her younger son<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“<i>should
be responsible for <u>his</u> share of the house maintenance, repairs etc and
my maintenance</i>”. As she struggled with the pen, she remarked: “<i>he likes
to shove off responsibilities</i>” and warned me not to let him get away
without paying: “<i>if he’s not forced to, he might get out of it,</i>” she
said.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">1 March 2010</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">During a
respite stay, the senior carer asked us, sotto voce, if Mum would want to be
resuscitated. So I turned to Mum and asked her directly. Without hesitation,
she said (loudly): "<i>NO!</i>"</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">2 June 2010</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum
phones from Abbeyfield in a confused state, claiming that things in her room
are missing and that members of the staff have been in there with their
friends. She thinks they have been having parties there. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">8 June 2010</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">When we
collect Mum from the Respite Unit, half her clothes are missing. Abbeyfield don</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t seem
to have any kind of system for keeping track of residents</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">
laundry. More worrying, we find a badly swollen ankle and unexplained
contusions on her leg.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">3 July 2010</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum
spends her days reading and re-reading the papers, cleaning and re-cleaning her
glasses. She often complains about books she has lent to people that have not
been returned. Sometimes, with a twinkle in her eye, she complains that she’s
been left alone with no company and nothing to eat or drink: "<i>I’m a poor,
neglected old lady</i>," she declares.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">She
often comes up with gems of truth and wisdom. Today she remarked: </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">"<i>I've
another son. He's not at all keen on his brother having taken over here</i>".
And later: "<i>I've got one down in London who doesn't care a button about
me</i>".</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">28 October 2010</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Just
before taking Mum for this respite visit, she tells us, "<i>I don't want
to go </i>[to Abbeyfield].<i> I can look after myself. I can make a meal. Can't
I stay here?</i>"</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">On
collecting her, we are assailed by a strong stench of urine in her room. We
trace the pong to a bedside locker, finding two or three pairs of wet and
soiled knickers and pads wrapped up in a plastic bag. The contents are too
noxious to examine closely. We hand the package to a staff member for disposal.
She doesn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t apologise or even bat an eyelid.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We
always mention Mum's inclination to secrete knickers and pads when we arrive
for a respite stay.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">But the
staff have rather a casual attitude to this and other information we provide </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> there
is no systematic means of recording what we tell them so that all members of
staff can see it.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We have
always been a little perturbed that only one staff member ever conducts a
proper induction on admission. When she is not on duty, nobody else does an
induction so nobody knows if there are any changes in her mental or physical
state, to her medication, to her behaviour or to our contact details.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">And when
we collect her, the staff seldom take the trouble to brief us on how things
have gone.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We
wonder about the 3 Star rating bestowed by the CQC.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">24 December 2010</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">On a day
visit to see his mother before Christmas, I overhear my brother (N) talking
about his son: “<i>he’s not interested in presents. He’s only interested in one
thing – money. He’s doesn’t care how he gets it as long as he gets it</i>.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At this, Mum sounds a bit disturbed:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“<i>You mean he would do something illegal?</i>”
</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">N
responds: “<i>Not illegal but on the borderline</i>.” J butts in: “<i>N’s
exaggerating</i>.”</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">18 January 2011</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">My
brother owes his mother thousands for loans and owes me thousands for payments
he dodged for work done on the roof, a project he organised.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He often mentions his property empire and
his business acumen, boasts that never fail to irritate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I send an email: “<i>I hear you have 14
properties and are doing very well….it would be a perfect opportunity to pay
off some debts</i>”.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">He
responds: “</span><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">Yes Im a millionnaire in debt! Dont think
most people have any idea about business. Actually I have no cash in the kitty
whatsoever, plus Im overdrawn at the bank and have nearly £20,000 on credit cards!
No cash reserves! Asset rich, cash poor, they call it! So wont be making any
contributions to anyone in the near future! Hopefully we'll sell the house and
all debts can be deducted from that</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">”.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">2 June 2011</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">After a
written complaint about last year</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s incident, Paloma, the manager, sent a
letter of apology and things have been much better since. There is even a
laundry-tracking system in place and they now ask for a luggage list on
admission.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We
collect Mum from her room. She looks well but remarks that she had a fall
trying to get to the commode, which was not where she expected it to be, at 2
or 3 am last night. She has a swollen right knee.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I ask
Paloma about it. She knows nothing about any fall. I persist and ask how
she could have got up from the floor. At last the manager looks in the
Daily Diary and finds that an unidentified person has written that she "<i>slipped
off the bed</i>" and was helped up and checked for injuries, though none
were found.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I worry
that if Mum had said nothing and I had not asked, we would not have known how
she got her swollen knee.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">30 July 2011</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">My
brother visited, along with his partner and his son, as part of the deal to
look after Mum and give us a break. We headed off to Fountains Abbey for a
couple of days.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">On our
return the house security recorder told us that they’d gone out somewhere,
leaving Mum alone for several hours.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We also
found that our bedroom had been used and the dirty sheets left on the bed. In
the sink was a pile of plates.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When J
started washing them, my brother was recorded saying, "<i>Leave it, leave
it – your name’s Willy, not Silly</i>" </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> a Glaswegian expression, a
favourite of Mum’s.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">12 October 2011</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">15 years
ago, N converted the basement into a self-contained flat. He got his mother to
pay for the work then rented it out to tenants. It was a commercial venture,
but he paid no rent for the use of the premises and neglected to pay for the
gas, electricity and water his tenants used, something that upset Mum greatly. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">He used
his mother as his (unpaid) agent, a function she was happy to perform if it
helped her son make his way in life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
wasn’t fair, though: she was expected to show prospective tenants round, to
sort out all their<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>problems, to deal
with emergencies and to organise maintenance. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The flat
nearly killed her once: at the age of 84 and with a new hip, she was showing an
estate agent round. When he left, he locked the outer door and took the keys.
She thought she could get out through the inner door but that was also locked.
There was no means of raising the alarm: no-one would have heard her cries.
Ever resourceful, she got out by managing to reach a tiny, 20” square window in
the kitchen, then squirming out of it before dropping to the ground below. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Tiring
of the noise and cooking smells coming up from the flat, I told my brother to
give notice to the current tenant and to remove the kitchen, so as to make the
house more saleable. He was keen on selling the house, writing [sic]: “</span><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt;">we both have hopefully might have some money to
spend</span></i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt;">”. But</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> when he
realised the house was not on the market, he bleated: "<i>so the removal
of the kitchen was in vain and I lost income</i>".</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">27 April 2012</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Today,
my Invisible sibling proposed "<i>an equitable financial settlement</i>"
that took account of my greater contribution towards his mother’s care. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">But his
formula included offsets that would defray his costs by incorporating a number
of variables, such as the rent-free accommodation I was getting at Mum’s and my
meagre Carer’s Allowance. Intriguingly, they also included "<i>the
satisfaction of looking after Mum</i>".</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Not even
the government means tests things that have no monetary value.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">2 May 2012</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s latest
stay at the Respite Unit seems to go without a hitch </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> until
the penultimate day that is. Pam phones the office the day before she is due
come home to ask how she</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s been. Yes, says the carer, Elizabeth has
been fine; there have been no problems. She is packed and ready to go home.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Oops </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> not for
the first time, Abbeyfield have cocked up the departure day.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Last
time, they </span>‘<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">forgot</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> she was due to go home so that when we
arrived to collect her, she wasn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t ready.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">This
time they</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">ve got her ready to go home a whole day early.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">It may
sound inconsequential but Mum was excited at the thought of going home. It
confused her to be told she wasn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t going home after all!</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">In early 2012 we</span><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">d sized up a trio of care homes so that when the time
comes for Mum to need residential care, there won</span><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t be a mad rush to find a suitable place.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">One was Glen Rosa, a Methodist-run home in Ilkley.
When we visit, we get glowing and unsolicited recommendations from relatives of
residents. It seems a friendly, bright, stimulating and caring establishment.
If care homes are an essential part of the modern world, this one is the model
for all the others to aspire to.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Although Respite care isn</span><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t a normal part of the home</span><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s provision, they
have empty rooms, so offer Mum a 10-day spell in one of them.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">21 June 2012</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">On the
due day we take Mum to her ground-floor room with a view of the well-kept
garden. It<span style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt;"> has a basic en-suite bathroom and
we find it odd that the home can</span></span><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t find one of those raised toilet seat contraptions that
are a boon to the infirm.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Glen Rosa’s check-in process is disconcertingly haphazard
</span><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> </span><span face=""\0022Trebuchet MS\0022"" style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "\0022Trebuchet MS\0022";">Ian, the senior</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> in charge, has no
intention of asking about Mum</span><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s needs, preferences and idiosyncrasies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We tell him anyway and, to give him his due,
he listens carefully and jots down a few notes on a sheet of paper.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We leave Mum sitting by the window, reading the
newspaper, seemingly taking it all in her stride.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We go home, full of hope that she will enjoy her stay.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">10 days later, I agree a time to collect her and check
that there will be a debriefing. We turn up at 1:30 and sit in the public
reception area. Ian is not quite ready but brings us tea. While we wait,
we overhear him talking to a man about his grandmother who is going downhill
rapidly and doesn</span><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t recognise him. It strikes me that this is a
conversation that should be taking place somewhere private.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Ian does take us to a private room and reports that Mum
is quite confused. This means that were she to become a full-time resident she
would have to go into their rather grim dementia annexe, called Kitwood House.
We ask if there were any signs of anxiety and he remembers that she once said, </span><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt;">"</span><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Why have they dumped
me here?</span></i><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt;">"</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> He says he reassured her and that </span><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt;">"</span><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">to my knowledge</span></i><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt;">"</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> he can</span><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t recall any other
such incidents.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">But he doesn</span><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t have Mum</span><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s Care Plan with him (he can</span><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t find it) and there
doesn</span><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t seem
to be a Daily Diary to which he can refer.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We find Mum in her room, slumped in a chair. She seems
downcast. Although she doesn</span><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t say </span><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt;">‘</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">neglected</span><i><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt;">’</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">, she gives the impression that this is what she feels.
They are short-staffed, she says, </span><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt;">"</span><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">because of the holidays</span></i><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt;">"</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> and that is why the bed remains unmade.
We notice this and also that the toilet has not been flushed. She repeatedly
says it isn</span><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t like the </span><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt;">"</span><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">other place</span></i><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt;">"</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> (Abbeyfield). They aren</span><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t keen, she says, to give her baths. She
says the food is so-so.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">She seems unaware that she</span><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s going home but once it</span><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s sunk in, she perks
up and her mood lifts.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">As we pack her clothes we find soiled knickers in the
clothes drawer wrapped up in newspaper. There is a sodden pad stuffed in her
wash bag. It is excusable for staff to miss things that are well hidden. But
her trousers stink of urine and I see that she is sitting on several sheets of
The Yorkshire Post, which has left its damp imprint on the cushion underneath.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">What happened is clear </span><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> some time earlier, possibly the day
before, there was an </span><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt;">‘</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">accident</span><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">. So she removed her knickers and stowed them in the
drawer, while the pad was stuffed in the wash bag. She put the soaking
trousers back on. To protect the chair cushion, she covered it with the
newspaper. None of the staff seem to have noticed.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">When I report our findings to Ian, he looks crestfallen.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">To say we are disappointed is an understatement.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We revert to our old faithful </span><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> periods of respite
at Abbeyfield.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Post Script</span></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">: 3 months later
June, Glen Rosa’s manager, called asking if we wanted to keep Mum’s place on
their Waiting List. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; letter-spacing: -0.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">When I said No and explained the reason, there was a
stunned silence: Ian had obviously kept it quiet.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">17 August 2012</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Glen
Rosa isn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t the only home that has problems with smelly underwear: on
unpacking her things after a respite stay at Abbeyfield, we find that a member
of staff has packed several items of stinking clothing in her case.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">During
some longer respite stays, visitors reported that my mother</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s
clothes were stained with food, her hair was occasionally untidy, her chin
unshaven and her fingernails uncut.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">One
regular visitor was so upset that she took some of Mum’s clothes home and
washed them. The visitor reported this to management. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">During
our next visit, Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s clothing appeared fresh but her chin and fingernails were
still unkempt.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Management
was asked several times to ensure that my mother</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s hair was not cut too
short when she visited the in-house hairdresser. These requests were always
ignored.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">After
her respite stays, I suspected that my mother</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s dentures were never
cleaned. During one prolonged stay, I challenged the home about this. I was
told they always asked my mother if she wanted help with her dentures. This is
fine for someone without dementia. But my mother probably declined help, forgot
to clean the dentures and so wore them uncleaned, night and day, for 6 weeks. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We
challenged the manager again but she stuck to her line about giving residents
their independence and refused to accede to my request that the staff do the
cleaning themselves.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">6 September 2012</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">When we
told Mum her old friend Mary is now in a care home, she shed a few tears – she
had thought Mary wasn’t bothering to keep in touch.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">She also
betrayed some of her guilt about her other son: "<i>some people say this
and that about him but not me: I think he has done extremely well. I'm not
running him down</i>". </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">20 November 2012</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">In the
mornings, Mum knows how to sit in the stairlift and work the controls, though
we usually keep a watch on her.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Today, I
forgot to put the seat down. It didn’t bother Mum, though: she simply squeezed
past the chair and came down the stairs; we heard a noise and found her inching
her way down.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">19 January 2013</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Talking
about her youngest son, she remarked, "<i>he thinks I don't think anything
of him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's just that I checked him for not doing
his homework</i>".</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">11 April 2013</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We got
Mum ready to leave her home of 53 years for the last time. She seemed OK about
going - said Abbeyfield was a reasonable place. But she must have had a
premonition about what was about to happen. After lunch, when I put on her outdoor
shoes, she asked what I was doing, having forgotten about going. She then said,
"<i>I don't want to go - I can't be bothered, I'm too comfortable here</i>".
</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">After
waiting 30 minutes, I tried again, saying I had to go up to Scotland. She
responded with "<i>I can manage here, I can get food in the kitchen, I can
get the bus to go shopping</i>". I said she was booked in and it is such a
nice place. She said, "<i>it</i></span><i>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s not so nice </span>–</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> there
are boring people there</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">". </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">But
eventually she agreed to go: "<i>You want to get rid of me?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, I suppose I'll go</i>".</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">29 May 2013</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I met
the General Manager when she was temporarily doing Reception duty. I asked her
to give Pam a bag containing a sheet and scissors, explaining that it was for
the hairdressing she does for Mum. The Manager’s ears pricked up. She wanted to
know if the hair drier is electrically approved. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Later,
we heard that Paloma, the Residential Unit manager had been instructed that
insurance is required for hairdressers! Paloma said it was ridiculous: "<i>let's
just forget about it</i>".</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">12 June 2013</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">My
brother made a rare visit to see his mother but spent most his time writing a
letter to the Abbeyfield accountant, requesting a statement of her care bills.
He also scribbled a note to me, demanding a </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">statement
of account re Mum</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s Will</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My scarcely visible sibling (this is only
his 29<sup>th</sup> visit to see his mother in 5 years) must be getting anxious
about his inheritance.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">22 October 2013</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Carol,
the new manager of the Unit, has the day off.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">This is
unfortunate because we have an appointment booked with her.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Post
Script:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">A couple
of days later we get an apology of sorts: "<i>I forgot I had the day off</i></span>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">It</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s not a
promising start to her managership.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">28 November 2013</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s
keyworker phoned to say she had a fall on Sunday 24 November at around 12:15 in
the bathroom as she was pulling her pants up, falling forward onto her knees.
The District nurse attended 3 days later and said one ear has had a perforated
drum at some stage and the other has </span>‘<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">debris</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> in it. The GP will come
and have a look. The keyworker apologised for the lack of communication </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">
apparently they all thought someone else had told us about the fall.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">3 December 2013</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">When Pam
visited, Carol apologised for the fall last month. We aren</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t sure
why she felt the need to apologise because it sounds as if the accident was
just that </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> an accident.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum says
she can't go home just yet because they don't think she is quite ready; but she
doesn't mind staying at Abbeyfield </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">they do look after you</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">, she
says.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">5 January 2014</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum
contracted a chest infection at the home and was rushed into Airedale Hospital
with pneumonia.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">She came
very close to dying.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Her
Invisible son was informed, but neither visited his mother nor contacted the
hospital to ask how she was.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">12 January 2014</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum was
allowed to sit in a bedside chair for 6 hours. Nobody came to move her or ask
if she needed the toilet. Eventually, 2 nurses came to put her, with the aid of
a hoist, back into bed. From outside the screen, I could hear one explaining to
the other how the hoist worked. Suddenly, my mother yelped and cried out that
they were going to drop her. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">13 January 2014</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We
complained about the neglect and incompetence to the Consultant and his ward
Sister. He granted us an appointment but insisted that care on his ward was
fine. The Sister expertly dismantled our allegations and lied convincingly.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">But our
complaint did have the beneficial effect of improving Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s
nursing care.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">23 January 2014</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The
Consultant and his staff do not give up on Mum </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> with the help of multiple
doses of antibiotics she pulls through and is discharged back to Abbeyfield.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">When we
visit, she has no appetite and seems rather low, but is alert, watching TV,
though not speaking much.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">"<i>I
never thought I'd be like this. I'm supposed to be here to look after people</i>."</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">29 January 2014</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Despite
her reduced mobility (they have to hoist her in and out of bed) she quickly
recovers her spirits and is almost back to her old self </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> reading
the paper, putting the world to rights, laughing and eating and drinking well.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Then, less
than a week after her return, we get news that she has been scalded. It</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s
Marcella: "<i>Bad news</i>", she says. She has given Mum a cup of
tea, told her not to </span>‘<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">drink it until it cools down</span></i>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> and
then gone away. Coming back 10 minutes later, Mum tells her, "<i>I've
spilt something on my leg". </i>Marcella finds a 15cm long red weal and
some smaller splashes on her left thigh. The large weal is blistering already.
She puts a wet flannel on the leg and makes a VideoTel call to the local
Hospital, which advises bringing Mum in for examination.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We drive
her there ourselves. It takes about 2 hours at A&E to get the scald
dressed. In the Waiting Room, Mum gets bored and says loudly, "<i>I want
to go now. I'm bored and tired of waiting. You only get to see a doctor for 5
minutes. Why can't they arrange an appointment?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want to go now</i>".</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We
eventually get back after midnight.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">30 January 2014</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We
expected Carol, the manager, to get in touch to apologise for last night's
accident.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">But
there was no phone call.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum is
back to top form, having forgotten all about last night</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s trip
to A&E. She has obviously been paying close attention to the news because
we have instructed to start buying houses as prices are booming.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">When we
go to Abbeyfield, the manager tries to ignore us. I say, as we pass in the
corridor, "<i>Carol, have you arranged for the District Nurse to visit?</i>"
</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;">"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Yes</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">, she
says, declining to mention the accident. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">She
never quite apologises, however. She says there will have to be a Risk
Assessment.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">5 February 2014</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">As I
walk past the office, I overhear Sue talking ominously about the wound. She
says it is now infected. Jemima comes in and says it looks a mess. Mum says it
is sore. This is partly because she can</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t keep her hands off the dressing: not
understanding its purpose, she repeatedly rips it off</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">15 February 2014</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The
wound is now healing well, assisted by twice-weekly visits from the District
Nurse.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We
discuss with some of the staff about how such incidents can be prevented in
future.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">To start
with, the staff need to be able to keep an eye on her </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> by
leaving her door ajar. But when I arrive, Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s door is firmly closed.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Then Sue
brings in hot tea with a warning to be careful because it</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s hot.
Mum just laughs at her. We realise that nothing has changed and some staff
appear to have learned nothing from the accident.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We
decide on a more proactive course of action. We buy 2 plasticised aprons to
protect her legs and pin up a notice on the wall asking staff not to give her
tea that is too hot.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">But the
message does not get through to everyone </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> we regularly find her being given cups of
scalding hot tea. Both permanent and temporary staff are guilty, though as time
goes on, the regulars get the message. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">On the
other hand, temporary and agency staff never seem to be briefed on Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s particular
needs.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Post
Script:</span></b></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">In July
2015 I posted a message on Abbeyfield's Facebook page entitled </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">There
but for the grace of God</span>…</i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">, together with a link to a local news
report about a resident of Troutbeck, a nearby nursing home, who was scalded by
a hot drink and died later in hospital. The home was heavily criticised by the
coroner for its failings. 2 years later, Abbeyfield gave a belated response to
my post:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>it pointed out that the
incident had not taken place at Abbeyfield.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Management evidently thought the incident I'd referred to had nothing to
do with them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I replied, mentioning
Mum's scalding incident, voicing my hope that lessons would be learned. There
was no response. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">20 February 2014</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">My
brother and Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s grandson visit. They stay an hour and a half. Kelly tells us
later that she told him his mother had been seriously ill for much of January
and asked him, in her typically forthright manner: </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">did you
go to see her?</span></i>"</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">"<i>I
was away skiing</i>", he replied.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">27 May 2014</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The
veneer on Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s chest of drawers has started to detach and its sharp edge
could cause an injury. I have mentioned it several times to staff recently.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">When
nothing happens, I ask the manager about it and she promises to make enquiries
about repairs.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">It takes
another 4 months and an intervention from the General Manager before a new
chest of drawers is provided.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">17 July 2014</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Maureen,
the cleaner, tells us she was working in Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s bathroom when she
overhead my Invisible sibling telling his mother it was so sad that I, her son,
am "<i>just</i> <i>a toilet cleaner</i>". As Mum stared blankly at
him, he laughed uproariously and boasted that his own son went to Millfield, an
expensive public school. Maureen says she nearly burst out of the bathroom
shouting that her son, the son of a cleaner, went to an ordinary state school,
got a First at Oxford and now has a lucrative job with Goldman Sachs.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">22 July 2014</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s front
tooth has snapped off. I ring round half-a-dozen NHS dentists but cannot get an
appointment for months. So Carol books a private dentist: even this entails a
3-week wait. I assume she will have checked that the dental surgery has
wheelchair access.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">14 August 2014</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">On the
day of the dental appointment I decide to visit the surgery myself first. I
discover it does not have wheelchair access and am forced to cancel the
appointment.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">8 October 2014</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum
says, </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I'm nearly 100, you know</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">". <i>I'm going to
have to retire and I don't</i> know<i> what I'm going to do</i>".</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">12 October 2014</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">After
much phoning around several weeks ago, I found a dentist who was willing to
make a domiciliary visit. When I visit Mum today, I find an appointment letter
stuffed away in a drawer.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">On a
previous occasion, we missed a hospital appointment because the NHS insists on
sending letters to the patient rather than to the appointed guardian.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Abbeyfield
compounds the problem by handing all mail to residents because to do otherwise
would contravene their human rights.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">It once
handed Mum one of its own letters that detailed the fees it was going to charge
for the following year. This upset her so much that she had to be calmed down.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">When a
resident has dementia, such a policy seems to us to be bonkers.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">When I
confront managers, including Carol, the Registered Manager, and Jackie, the
future General Manager, about the problem, I discover it comes as something of
a surprise to them.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Eventually,
the manager follows her time-honoured tactic of producing a Disclaimer for me
to sign. It authorises the manager to open official-looking letters and to
contact me about their contents.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Post
Script</span></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">:</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">A year
later, it</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s obvious that Abbeyfield have completely ignored their own
policy </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> we still find letters, both personal and official, hidden away
in drawers in Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s room; letters about appointments still go missing; and the
home have never once phoned me to tell me about any letter they are holding for
Mum </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">
this includes the card the Queen sent for her 100th birthday.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">27 October 2014</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">My
Invisible sibling gets a solicitor to write to me to suggest that I sell her
house in the </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">interest of both Nicholas yourself and
your mother.</span></i>"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">As my
mother’s Attorney, I am legally obliged to act in her best interests. Not my
best interests; not my brother’s best interests. Any competent solicitor would have known
this.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">
The
letter is mainly to do with our ongoing dispute about financing the roof
replacement in 2009. He agreed to pay half, but has since pleaded poverty and
persistently deferred payment. And now he is refusing to pay up on the grounds
that “<i>I'm not living there and not receiving any benefit </i>[from the
repairs].” He goes on: “<i>There is no need to respond to this e-mail save to
agree with my point of view.</i>” </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"><br /></span></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Post Script</span></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">: </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">He later
relented (sort of) with this proposal: “<i>My legal representative Sandra
Jayacodi would be suitable to mediate although ultimately she would be acting
in my best interests.</i>”</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">One day
we bumped into one another at Abbeyfield. Looking for something to say, N
boasted that he'd just sold a property in London. As he was flush, I asked him to
cough up what he owed me for the roof. When he refused, I sued in the Small
Claims Court. He didn't turn up, so I won and got my money at long last.<span style="color: blue;"></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">18 December 2014</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">My
Invisible visited his mother along with his future wife. They were kind enough
to leave a pot of flowers, a Christmas card and some toiletries. They took Mum
to Betty's Cafe. In the Visitors' Diary they left a detailed description of
what they had to eat and drink. They also left a bill that showed
they spent £70 on salmon, chocolate ice cream and pink champagne. How careless was that? In a
transparent attempt at a put-down, they wrote: "<i>She mentioned she
rarely gets taken ou</i>t <i>so this was a most welcome experience.</i>"
The message was clear: ‘you are obviously neglecting our Mother; look how well <u>we</u>
treat her’.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">26 January 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Yesterday
I asked Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s keyworker to take Mum downstairs to a Burns Supper event on
the afternoon of the 26th. It was written down in the Daily Diary. Pam went
along at 4:30 and found Mum in the toilet, wearing yesterday's clothing. Pam
took her down to the Supper but found that the staff there had not been told to
expect her. There was no room for Pam and, not wanting to leave Mum alone in a
strange place, she took her back upstairs for tea. Fortunately the friendly
piper came upstairs and played for her on his pipes. I am not sure if that was
a good or bad thing!</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">While
talking to Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s keyworker about this, I mentioned that her chin often needs
shaving - shouldn't that (and her fingernails) be part of her care? They are
small things but their neglect adds up to a loss of dignity - she would be
horrified to think her chin was like that.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The
keyworker agreed but then asked if there was a razor in the room.</span></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">18 February 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">My
Invisible has phoned Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s solicitor demanding a copy of her Will.
Perhaps he</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s worried that she may have cut him out of it. Quite correctly,
the solicitor said “<i>No</i>”.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">On a
pleasanter note, he’s invited us to his wedding in April.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">23 February 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">My
lovely sibling writes: “</span><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt;">I
do not wish my emotional health to be affected by seeing you and your dreadful
partner the wedding invitation is withdrawn. So FU</span></i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt;">”</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">9 April 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The home
reported that Mum sometimes gets agitated at tea-times. Her GP</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s answer
to this was to prescribe Paracetamol on the grounds that it is pain from her
knees that brings on the agitation.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Carol,
however, says it is caused by Mum not liking the food she chose from the menu
earlier in the day. Apparently, when she gets what she ordered, she sometimes
refuses to eat it, wanting instead to have what others are eating.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Carol
produced one of her Disclaimers, to be signed by me, permitting the staff to
override her choices for something more appropriate.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Rather
than employ common sense and gently persuade her to make a suitable choice,
Abbeyfield would have us endure this bureaucratic, politically correct,
box-ticking rigmarole.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">At Jo's
suggestion, I produce a tea-time menu of things she likes (Welsh rarebit,
scrambled egg, crumpets etc). I say she doesn't like curry. I say the portions
are too big (she is now 11st 11lb, having put on 2st in 3 years) and tell them
that she is of the generation that does not like to leave food. I also say she
prefers vegetarian food.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Jo notes
all this then says she wishes there were 16 more residents like Elizabeth to
look after because she is no bother. And if they want a laugh they just pop in
to see her.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">6 May 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">When we
arrived earlier today, Carey was looking after a man in a suit who turned out
to be a CQC Inspector on an unannounced audit. We spoke twice, at length, with
another inspector, called Sandra, a former paediatric nurse. She said any
feedback we gave would be anonymous but took our names anyway.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We told
her as much as possible about Abbeyfield: the scald saga, the damaged furniture
saga, the lack of tooth care etc, etc.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I
mentioned Carol, the detached Manager, and also told her about earlier
complaints raised with head office and with Paloma, the previous manager.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We gave
praise as well - we said we were happy with how the pneumonia episode of 2014
was dealt with. We said that agency staff are never briefed on Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s care
needs but the regular staff have greatly improved their practice. We said all
staff are excellent and that Abbeyfield is in the top flight of care homes.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum
chipped saying she was well cared for and the food was good.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Sandra
asked if we were happy with the room so I said it was Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s own
choice.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Post
Script</span></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">:</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">When the
CQC</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s
Report was published later in the year, only our favourable remarks were
printed. None of our criticisms appeared.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">5 June 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Carol
presents me with another Disclaimer to sign. This one is to countermand Health
and Safety regulations, which apparently require Abbeyfield to keep Mum’s bed
low during the night in case she falls out. As she cannot get out of bed from
such a low position, Carey thinks she is more likely to fall while trying.
Floella, a senior carer who is often on nights, tells me she keeps the bed high
during the night - it's common sense - and gets a slap on the wrist when it is
discovered in the morning.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">10 June 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Pam
arrives and takes Mum down to the lawns for Abbeyfield</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s Open
Day. There are tombolas, raffles and so on and she thoroughly enjoys herself.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">None of
the other residents are there, except Lavinia, who is more able-bodied than
most.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The
staff, it seems, do not bother taking people outside unless they are asked.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">But Mum
is not a demanding lady and hardly ever asks if she can go out. Once prompted
though, she is always up for a trip downstairs to sit in the sun with a
dripping ice cream in one hand.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">At
Abbeyfield this seldom happens.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">24 June 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum went
on a barge trip on the local canal, a trip she</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s done before. The barge is
run by SCAD, a Skipton charity </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> wheelchairs can get directly on to the deck
and down to the saloon. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">She was
on deck when the helmsman lost concentration and the barge drifted to the bank
and hit some low overhanging branches. The helmsman shouted a warning but too
late. Pam screamed then flung herself over Mum and pushed her head down. She
sustained abrasions and bruises to her arm and wrist while Mum had a small
scratch on her eyebrow and complained of a sore shoulder. A crewman said it was
a '<i>minor miscalculation</i>'. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">They
didn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t
bother reporting the incident to SCAD management.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">But I
did. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">However,
other than declaring that they were all </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">dedicated volunteers, some
have been with us for many years and are trained to the highest standard
required by the NCBA</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">", SCAD seemed unconcerned by the
incident.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">25 July 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We took
Mum out for a meal at the Clevedon, our favourite restaurant. A shame the
restaurant forgot to provide the birthday decorations we asked for.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum
looked at her cards and said of the Queen's card: "<i>Well, I do send her
a card every year!</i>"</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">26 July 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s 100th
birthday party went off a treat. Most of the other residents turned up and
Abbeyfield laid on sandwiches and champagne. Mum was a bit daunted by all the
attention at first but soon got into the swing of things. By the end she was
lecturing the others on the importance of good relations with the French.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">3 August 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I had
earlier given Carol a brief biography of Mum and she promised to send it to her
contact at the Ilkley Gazette for inclusion, together with one of her photos,
in a piece about the 100th birthday party.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We kept
looking for the report until, at last, I phoned the paper. The local reporter
said she had not received anything from Carol. So I sent her the biography
myself, including one of my photos and the article appeared on 6 August.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">7 August 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Pam took
Mum down to the home</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s Strawberry Fair, with more tombolas and raffles. She won a
suitcase and a box of stale chocolates in the raffle. None of the other
residents attended. Mum would not have been there if Pam hadn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t taken
her. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We
wonder at Abbeyfield</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s policy of organising events without inviting its own
residents.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum is
bemused by the article in the Gazette: "<i>How did they know about me?</i>"</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">She has
to be reminded about her 100th birthday.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Every
few minutes she asks the same questions in exactly the same way. It is as
though her brain remembers the question but she herself does not. Somewhere in
her mind is a sense of self that tries to maintain normality.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The day
after the Gazette article appeared Val, a friend of Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s from
the Scribblers (a writing group), called at the house to offer her condolences
on Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s death. </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Who told you that?</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> I
asked, with mounting horror. It transpired that a friend of a friend had seen
the article in the Gazette and somewhere along the way the story had morphed
from a birthday celebration into a death notice. Confused and embarrassed, Val
made her exit. I doubt she will ever return. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">In
common with most other members of the Scribblers (of which Mum was a founder
member), Val has often promised to visit her old friend but has never done so.
The exception is Carin, who lives just across the road and visits once a week,
at least. Val often rings Carin for permission to use her parking space, but
only so that she can go shopping, not to see her old friends.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">13 August 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Paloma,
the former manager of the unit appears. Mum says, to her face, "I know
that<i> fat lady from somewhere"</i>. Paloma isn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t put
out: "<i>It's true</i>,</span>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> she says, laughing: </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I'm fat</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">".</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">15 September 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Carey
tells us the District Nurse has reported that the second toe on her right foot
gets rubbed where it crosses the bunioned big toe. She asks me to go and buy a
toe tube to protect it.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Briefly,
I wonder why the NHS cannot provide a toe tube but go out anyway and buy one
from Boots. I see it is a foam tube that you cut to size. It has an oily
inside. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The
instructions say: </span>‘<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Remove overnight to allow skin to breathe</span>’</i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">26 September 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">While
getting Mum ready to go out to an over-90</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s event at the Clarke Foley Centre, Pam
notices that the foam toe protector is damp and, instead of being cut to size,
has been crudely folded over.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">It looks
as if they shower her while the tube is on, which cannot be good practice.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Along
with some other residents, the staff load her on to the minibus transport. But
there is limited space for wheelchairs so she has to get out and struggle along
the narrow corridor to her seat.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Carol
and Kelly, a carer, take the other residents into the venue.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum is
last to go but members of staff disappear into the venue and don't come back.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">So Pam,
with help from the driver gets Mum up and into her wheelchair and into the
centre.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">30 September 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Abbeyfield
alerts Pam to the fact that Mum has stripped the skin from her second toe. They
don't know how it happened but think she may have stubbed it. Photos of the
injury are to be sent to the doctor.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I learn
this when Pam phones me to say she is her way to Abbeyfield. I am halfway up
the Inaccessible Pinnacle in Skye at the time.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Carey
agrees that she probably stubbed the toe. She says that a few days ago she
noticed the toe protector was "<i>manky</i>" and removed it.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">2 October 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The
Dentist arrives unexpectedly, a few days ahead of schedule. She says the gums
are inflamed and confirms our long-held suspicion that her teeth are seldom
brushed. Only a few days earlier Pam had confronted her keyworker about the
fact that her toothbrush is always dry and hidden away in a drawer - the staff
clearly never clean her teeth for her.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">They
would probably say they always ask and that she always says: </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">No</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Kay says
she will make a note of our complaint.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The
Dentist leaves instructions on brushing with the staff.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The
District Nurse comes to change the dressing on the toe. She has brought the
wrong dressings, though. She puts something temporary in place and leaves,
saying she will return.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">She
doesn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Seething
gently, Pam waits for her at Abbeyfield until early evening.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">During
the long wait she confronts Jemima; Carol, the manager, stays in the background
saying nothing. Pam accuses the staff of negligently misusing the toe protector
tube by keeping it on at night and in the shower, hence softening the skin. She
tells them that under no circumstances is the toe protector to be used again.
She says that on 26 September, when she removed the slipper to take her to an
over-90s outing, she noticed the toe was wet and soggy and the toe protector
was too long and had been folded back on itself.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Carol
says nothing.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">3 October 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">During
the night the temporary dressing fell off. A member of staff (Jemima) called
the District Nurse service and someone came out to put a proper dressing on.
But the toe was unprotected, without a dressing for well over 12 hours.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Pam
visits and talks to Jemima in the reception area, with Carol sitting nearby.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Jemima
repeats the theory that the injury was caused by stubbing the toe, perhaps on
some furniture.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Carol
could have intervened and either agreed with the theory or rubbished it.
Instead, she says nothing.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">11 October 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Kay
tells us what actually happened to the toe, having just asked Charlotte, who
first reported the injury. <span style="letter-spacing: -0.5pt;">Charlotte</span>
says she showered Mum that morning; she did not see a protector on the toe;
after the shower she noticed the skin was coming off.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">13 October 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We get a
report from the District Nurse that the entire toe has </span>‘<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">degloved</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">, that
it is infected and that there are signs of necrosis.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">In a
panic we phone the District Nurse Service and Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s GP,
trying to find out what</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s going on and what is being done.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">At
Abbeyfield we find 2 tablets of her medication hidden in a pocket. Clearly, the
staff don</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t always bother to supervise residents when they dispense
medication.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We
mention this to Carey, who looks crestfallen.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">14 October 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The
District Nurse came to change the dressing. Pam asked to discuss the injury and
its treatment. Not wanting to talk in front of Mum, they looked for a suitable
private room but could not find one. They ended up in the manager</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s
office. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The
District Nurse said: <i>'our conclusion on first seeing it </i>[the wound]<i>
was that it looked like a ligature injury'</i>. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">In other
words, something had constricted the blood supply, the toe protector being the
obvious culprit.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">This was
said in the office with the manager sitting in the background at her computer. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Carol
never uttered a word.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">15 October 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We were
present when a Tissue Viability Nurse, the Head District Nurse, another nurse
and Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s GP all crowded into Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s room. The manager found something else
to do and delegated Jemima to take notes.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The TVN
took the dressing off and washed the toe.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum
said, "<i>Oh dear I don't know how that happened. I'm not going to lose
the toe am I?</i>"</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The
nurses examined the wound and discussed treatment.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The TVN
said the blood supply was OK (</span>‘<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">good refill</span></i>’)<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">. The
toe was warm and there was no infection.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">She
confirmed that the toe protectors were responsible for the injury </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> the
skin, she said, was macerated, soggy and must have stripped when the toe was
put into a shoe.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">It will
heal gradually with proper care - 3x weekly visits by the District Nurse plus
weekly photos. She is not to be showered unless a LimbO boot (to be ordered) is
in place. This is to avoid infection from the open drain in the shower.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The Head
District Nurse dressed the toe, took bloods and gave advice on footwear, socks
etc. She raised the footrest on Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s chair; Pam propped the foot up with
pillows. Once all the visitors had left, Carol made a reappearance: Pam met her
coming out of the lift with Jemima. She said nothing but Jemima, who seems to
be acting as her mouthpiece, said: "<i>we've all got to learn from this
and we're really sorry that this has happened to Elizabeth</i>".</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">This
looked like a tacit admission of responsibility.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">18 October 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Nish
comes in to take Mum to tea and she says something interesting: "<i>When</i>
<i>I came on shift I heard the shocking news</i>", indicating the toe.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The
LimbO boot hasn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t arrived </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> we</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">re truly in a state of limbo!</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">20 October 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We
bought a post-op shoe ourselves and took it to Abbeyfield.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s door
was closed and her feet were resting on the floor.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Iona (a
carer) came in and said Mum's toe looked much better.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">She said
that while the dressing was off they had showered her.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">As the
LimbO boot hadn't arrived, they were contravening the Tissue Viability Nurse</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s
instructions. Showering her over an open drain exposed her to the risk of
infection.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The
District Nurse's notes were missing and bandages and scissors had been left
lying on the table. Jemima later said the notes were in the office. She was
careful to say the toe looked pink ("<i>I'm not just saying that</i>").
She said the antibiotics have just been stopped. Carol was in the office as I
left but ignored me.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">21 October 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I
visited to bring shower consumables. Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s door was wide open, as it should be. I
noted that her feet were on a stool, bandage halfway up her leg; the nurse's
notes were retrieved from the office, where Carey told me the toe was infected
but successfully controlled with the antibiotics. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">This was
not what the District Nurse had told us.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">23 October 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Carey
told us (with pride) about last Tuesday</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s showering. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">So Pam
laid into her, telling her that the Nurse's instructions were that she should
not be showered over an open drain without protection. This seemed to come as a
surprise to Carey. But, she said, she was sitting on the commode seat. That's
not the point, Pam retorted. She went on: "<i>This shouldn't have happened
in the first place should it?</i>" "<i>No</i>", said Carey.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The
District Nurse has visited, writing in the diary that she couldn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t find
any dressings so had to make do with what she brought with her.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Hmm - a
nurse who comes to dress a wound but doesn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t bring any dressings. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">25 October 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We learn
from a resident that they never see Carol. She is reputed to hide in the office
playing on her computer.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">29 October 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">A
District Nurse made an unplanned visit last Sunday because the dressing had
come off. Her notes contained the intriguing comment that Mum is prone to
knocking her toes. How did she know that? Someone from the care home must
have told her. Carey, perhaps.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">30 October 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I phone
the General Manager to ask how the Registered Manager is getting on with a
report on the incident that I requested on 16th October. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">She had
been instructed to undertake a </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">thorough investigation</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The
General Manager got back to me, saying the Report is being posted. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">2 November 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The
Report, when it eventually arrives, is one-third waffle and one-third
corporate-speak. Carol repeatedly says she is not a clinician and so cannot
speculate on the cause of the injury. She pretends to be unaware that the
District Nurses, who can surely be called clinicians, found it was a ligature
injury that may have been caused by the toe protector.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The
remaining third of the Report is a transparent attempt to shift the blame for
the injury onto the District Nurses. Alleging that they gave her wrong advice
about the toe protector, she wants them to complete a form every time they
visit outlining the treatment they have given and what they instruct/advise.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Getting
others to fill in forms and sign disclaimers is an obvious way of avoiding
responsibility - the last refuge of the lazy bureaucrat.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I
respond by writing to the General Manager, noting that the toe protector packet
contains clear instructions. It advises that the tube be kept dry and should be
removed overnight.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Carol
and her staff completely overlooked this.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">3 November 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Carol
emailed me requesting the names of the staff members who had speculated on the
cause of the injury because, </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">the assumption of how the injury was
caused should not have been verbalised</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">It
seemed an odd thing to say, given that she was usually present when the staff
spoke to us.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">There</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s a hint
here that disciplinary action might be taken against the staff concerned.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Carol
also complained about the use of the word </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">manky</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> she
doesn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t
want her staff using such language when talking to clients.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Unfortunately, I did not get the email
because I was in my mother’s room at the time it was sent. The manager knew
this </span>– <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">she saw me passing her office door as she was writing it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">As I was
leaving, she popped out of her office and asked for a word.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">This, 3
weeks after the accident, was the first time she had spoken to me about it.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">She
asked for the names of the staff but, crucially, did not say what was in the
email. She merely assured me that no staff member would get into trouble.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">As she
already knew (from the duty roster) who the likely staff members were, I gave
her the names.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">When I
got home and saw the email, I sent an angry response, copying it to the General
Manager.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Neither
of the two managers responded.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">9 November 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Against
all expectations, the toe is well on the way to healing. The nurses have taken
the dressings off for good.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I meet
Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s
chiropodist. He says he was told the toe got caught on a wheelchair. I tell him
the nurses believe it</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s a ligature injury that was probably
caused by the toe protector. He says he uses such gel protector tubes and has
never had a problem with them. But, he adds darkly, even when he gives clear
instructions on the use of the tubes, there is no accounting for third party
failure to follow them.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">17 November 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">After
two weeks with no acknowledgement of my last email from the General Manager, I
send in a formal Complaint arguing that inadequate communications are at the
root of all the problems we have had. I tell Abbeyfield that their manager
likes to stay in the background, where she can be comfortably detached from
what goes on, thus allowing her to give tacit approval to what the staff tell
us while avoiding responsibility for it. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We want
her to step into the foreground and engage directly with us, with visiting
professionals and with residents.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Jackie,
the General Manager, writes back immediately, promising to appoint an
Investigating Officer, who will contact me.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">18 November 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Carol
phones to invite me to a meeting with the Investigating Officer. I tell her it</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s up to
him to contact me directly.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">So he
does </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">
introducing himself as Terry. I ask him what the agenda will be and it becomes
obvious that he wants to talk exclusively about the injury and the steps they
have taken to avoid a repetition.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I inform
Terry that the injury is history and we really want to talk about Abbeyfield</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s
communications problems. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">He doesn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t seem
to get it.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">19 November 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We
arrive at Abbeyfield, finding Mum returning from a visit to the conservatory
where she joined in a 1940s singsong. This is a very rare excursion for
her </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">
the visit only took place because Kelly was on duty. She</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s the
only staff member who takes the trouble to get Mum off her backside and
downstairs to musical events such as this or just to sit in the sun in the
courtyard. Kelly is the only carer who will sit and spend time chatting to the
residents.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We have
an hour</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s meeting with Carol and Terry to discuss my Complaint with a
view to finding a resolution </span>‘<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">going forward</span></i>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">He keeps
repeating that he doesn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t know exactly what</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s gone
on because he</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s new in the job, but then lets slip that he started in March,
7 months ago.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Despite
my insistence that we should be discussing communications, he is intent on
talking about the injury. </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">m not a clinician</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">, he
says, as a prelude to informing us that there are several different opinions
about the cause. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I glance
at him and see that one of his shoulders is starting to slope. It seems to be
pointing in the direction of the District Nurses. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">He repeats
the story about getting wrong advice from one of them but is unable to name
her. Six weeks ago, when we asked the Head Nurse about it, she said there was
no record of any of her nurses giving such advice.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Terry
starts outlining the steps they will be taking to force visiting medics to put
their instructions and advice in writing. I butt in, telling him that all his
manager needs to do is accompany visitors to residents</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> rooms,
listen to what</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s said, and take notes.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I
mention a specific instance when a nurse announced her arrival and Carol simply
told her to go to Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s room, unaccompanied.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Carol,
who hasn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t said a single word up to now, suddenly pipes up, saying that
particular incident was a one-off. It won</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t happen again.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">It</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s a
barefaced lie. Furious, I tell her about other unaccompanied visits by nurses,
dentists, doctors and chiropodists. She lapses into silence again.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">With his
manager coming under attack, Terry leaps on his white charger and rides to her
rescue. She is, he says, highly regarded by other professionals for her
proactive approach to management.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We stare
mutely at him. The only sound in the room comes from our jaws dropping to the
floor.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We
cannot imagine how a manager can get away with doing as little management as
Carol.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Exasperated,
I forcibly change the subject and start talking about poor communications.
Terry asks for concrete examples so I repeat the one about the showering
incident </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> the one when they failed to follow the Tissue Viability Nurse</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s
instructions and gave Mum a shower over an open drain, with the dressing on the
toe removed. Jemima, I inform him, was delegated to attend the consultation on
15 October and take notes. I glance at Carol but she doesn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t
contradict me. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Later, I
say, Pam got Jemima to confirm that she</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">d understood all the instructions. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Carol
interjects, saying the instructions <u>were</u> passed on but there was no
warning about showering over an open drain.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">This is
either another barefaced lie or Jemima suffered a severe memory lapse.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">As
another example of poor communications, I relate the tale of the dentist</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s visit,
another unaccompanied one. After the treatment, the dentist went in search of
someone to instruct on Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s future dental care. Her instructions
worked for a while but soon lapsed.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Terry
asks if we</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">d mentioned it to anyone. I tell him that yes, we reported that
Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s
breath stank on several occasions. Clearly her teeth were not being brushed. He
scribbles a note in his book.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;">"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">And
another thing</span></i>…"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> </span>– <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Pam is warming up now. She tells the
meeting how we once found a couple of tablets in Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s
pocket. She</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">d been handed medication and nobody supervised her. We</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">d
immediately reported it to a senior carer.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Terry
looks stunned. They didn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t know about this; it hadn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t been
reported. Carol says nothing.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">And that
is that. We leave the meeting doubting if anything much will change.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Shortly
afterwards, we meet Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s GP, who</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s come to check up on her
toe. </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">She</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s quite a bit older than me</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">, says
Mum, </span>"b<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">ut doctors can carry on working for ever</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">21 November 2015</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum was distressed
today </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> complaining that the room isn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t hers and that nobody
tells her anything. We were pleased to see that Marcella was with her when we
arrived, talking gently to her, pointing to the pictures on the wall (</span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Oh yes,
that</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s me and my husband; those are my boys</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">) but it
didn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t
make any difference to her mood. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">She was
in the grip of another, parallel reality that would not go away until she went
for lunch. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">28 February 2016</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We
decide to tidy up Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s underwear drawers. There are
plenty of bras but none of them belong to her. The one she</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s
wearing isn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t one of the sports-style bras we bought her. It</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s 5
years since I first complained about missing laundry and Abbeyfield still hasn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t sorted
the problem. I send Carol an email. She says she ordered individual
laundry bags but </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">the wrong ones were sent</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Not her
fault then.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">29 February 2016</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Organisations
such as the DWP, HMRC and NHS always send correspondence addressed to Mum,
never to me, her Attorney. Since reading such mail is guaranteed to confuse and
upset her, Abbeyfield were authorised to withhold such letters and pass them to
me. But such a simple task is beyond them </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> she regularly gets
official letters delivered to her room. They even send their own letters </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> those
detailing their fees </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> direct to her. When I complain to
Carol about the latest transgression, she says such deliveries happen </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">without
my knowledge</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Not her
fault then.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">1 March 2016</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Now and
again we find Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s room pretty chilly, usually because someone has turned down
the thermostat. It</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s obviously a member of staff who thinks
the room too is too hot. Once again, I complain to Carol. Once
again, she suggests putting up a notice asking staff not to adjust the
thermostat </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">without consulting a senior</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Not her
fault then.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">23 March 2016</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum
worries deeply about things she sees on the News. At the moment it</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s the
migrant crisis in Europe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She says, in
her considerate manner of old: "<i>I'd help if I could but I've only got
one bed</i>".</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">28 May 2016</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum was
noticeably depressed when Nish, one of the staff, escorted her back to her room
after lunch. She said she felt ill - something she'd eaten perhaps - others
were ill, too. When questioned she said she was physically OK. Then she said
she was worried I might catch it and we realised she was probably talking about
the Zika virus, which is prominent on TV at the moment. We sought out the staff
to ask if they had observed her distress. But they seemed to know nothing.
Hardly surprising, we thought - they don't engage with residents unless they
have to. We have only once arrived on a visit to find a member of staff - Kelly
- sitting in her room chatting to her. At all other times, when we want to find
a carer we go to the dining room where there are sure to be 2 or 3 of them
chatting over cups of tea. They only come in, Mum says, "<i>when they want
to do something</i>."</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Caring
is surely not meant to be like this.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">26 July 2016</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s 101<sup>st</sup>
went off like a dream. We went to the Clevedon again and had an afternoon tea. </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">This is
lovely,</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> she declared. </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">re all together here. But
there</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s one missing. Now where</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s that boy?</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">She
spoke incessantly about the economic situation. As she was cutting the
cake she remarked, </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">the young ones can</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t get
jobs so perhaps we shouldn</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t be eating this</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Back at
Abbeyfield a large cardboard box containing a bowl of M&S flowers had
arrived. There was no greeting and no indication of who had sent it. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">But I
knew: it was someone in a hurry, someone who is not a detail person: her other
son, my Invisible sibling.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">21 Nov 2016</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s GP
organised an assessment by the Community Mental Health Team because there have
been recent incidents involving verbal abuse of staff and residents. The GP
thought she might have had a TIA. When the Team leader phoned to confirm the
appointment, I asked if the visiting nurse was dementia-trained. </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Yes, we
all are,</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> came the reassuring reply.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Donna,
the Community Mental Health nurse, arrived and started the interview by asking
Mum where she thought she was. Then she was asked how she felt in herself, if
she was ever angry and if she ever heard voices in her head. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">In
between answers, Mum would rabbit on about houses, spare rooms and lodgers. She
could, she said, put people up in the adjoining spare bedroom: she indicated
the bathroom. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">At this,
Donna, the trained dementia nurse, crossed to the bathroom, flung the door open
and declared loudly that it was only a bathroom, nothing else. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum was
momentarily confused but quickly found a way to account for the apparent
contradiction: the bed, she said, was in a room next to the bathroom. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">At this,
Donna recommended putting a notice on the bathroom door stating that it is just
that, a bathroom.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Experience
has taught us that the best way of relating to Mum is to try and enter her
world, her reality. There is little point in contradicting her beliefs,
reasoning with her or otherwise trying to coax her into the real world. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">If Donna
has really received training in the care of dementia patients, that training
is, without a doubt, defective. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">23 December 2016</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">My
brother arrives with his wife and son to take Mum out to Betty’s. She is keen
to go out. "<i>I don’t like sitting doing nothing, sitting on my own,</i>"
she tells them. While getting her ready, they spend a lot of time urgently
looking for the Xmas card they sent her. My nephew picks up the card we gave
her. "<i>Stewart’s left a very heart-warming card</i>," he reports.
"<i>Says ‘much love'</i>." He sniggers. Then, observing his father's
cack-handedness at dealing with his grandmother: <i>" You’re not very good
at this are you?"</i></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">1 February 2017</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Hooray!
Carol has left for another job. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The
staff look as if a load has lifted from their shoulders. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Eena,
the new manager, seems much more hands-on. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">re told
that she even drops in on each resident every morning.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">1 March 2017</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I make
one of our regular calls to ask how Mum is. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Eena
answers. </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Just a minute,</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> she says, </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">ll find
out for you</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">.</span>"</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">So, no
change then.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">24 April 2017</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">A new
carer, possibly agency, appeared today. Around 3pm we overhead a conversation
with a regular senior carer: </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">What should I do now?</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> asked
the newcomer. </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">There</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s not
much to do now until 4 o</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">clock. You might as well take it easy</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">.</span>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We
wonder why she didn’t suggest introducing herself to the residents and having a
chat with them. Mum, for example, would welcome human contact.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">27 April 2017</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum has
developed a chest infection. After her near-death experience in 2014, we are on
red alert. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I
learned about the infection by chance when her new GP, Dr S, from the Ilkley
Moor surgery, phoned me to introduce himself. </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">What can
I do for you?</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> he enquired. This was such a novel
experience that I cheekily said: </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">You tell me; it was <u>you</u> who phoned
me</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">He had
not examined Mum himself </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> that had been done by Jan, the Community
Matron, who had reported a crackle on her left lung. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Later,
when I called Abbeyfield to ask how Mum was, I was told her chest was clear </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> the
Matron had told them so; she had prescribed antibiotics, but only as a
precautionary measure. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Giving
out a contradictory story reflects badly on the staff. </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">It makes
us look stupid</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">, says Jo.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Needing
to find out the truth, I asked Dr S to visit Mum to examine her himself. When
he did so, he confirmed that she had a chest infection but did not offer an
explanation for the conflicting diagnoses. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">What he
did say, though, was that his Community Matron is one of the best nurses
around.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Hmm </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> such an
unsolicited, defensive remark suggested that he knew about the conflicting
diagnoses. So why didn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t he admit it and tell us what went wrong?</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">30 April 2017</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">re told
that lots of Abbeyfield residents and staff have colds. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">There</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s one of
those anti-bacterial hand spray machines at the entrance to the unit. But it</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s been
empty for some time. Clearly nobody, including the staff, bothers much about
infection control.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">It</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s
mid-afternoon when we arrive. Three carers are taking it easy in Reception. The
telly in Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s room is blank and she is sitting there polishing and
repolishing her glasses. She looks unwell and is rather subdued. There</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s a cup
of cold tea on her table. She has taken only a couple of sips before forgetting
to drink. She doesn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t know she should be keeping herself hydrated. We have asked
the staff to make sure she drinks enough, but right now they</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">re on
their tea break.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">3 May 2017</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The hand
spray machine is still empty.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Another
doctor came and examined Mum, saying she still has a crackle in her chest. She
is not unduly concerned, however.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum is
very agitated at the moment </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> she obsessively cleans and cleans her
glasses. If they</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">re out of reach she folds and folds a paper napkin. She</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s bored.
She lacks stimulation.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;">"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">This is
not the place for me</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">,</span>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> she tells us. </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">m going
home tomorrow</span>"</i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">8 May 2017</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The hand
spray machine was refilled 3 days ago. Great! But Mum has already
caught the cold bug that</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s raging at Abbeyfield. Jan, the
Community Matron, examined her today and told us her chest infection is bad. It</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s the
point at which, she seemed to suggest, Mum would usually be admitted to
hospital. If she stays at Abbeyfield, it could go either way. We have already
decided to keep Mum out of Airedale Hospital, where she had such an awful time
in 2014. We</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">re going down the palliative care route. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I hurry
to her bedside, finding her coughing and hot. She’s watching Nanny McPhee
through half-closed eyes. </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">It</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s about a man who loses his
wife and his children are very bad,</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> she informs me. Then, </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I don</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t know
why I</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">m ill. It</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s not winter yet. I need to get better
because I</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">ve work to do</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">.</span>"</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Two
carers come in and shoo us out of the room while they turn and change her. Later,
the District Nurse comes and checks her for bedsores. An air mattress is being
ordered. We watch Margaret, a carer who tells Mum she hails from Glasgow,
gently feed soup to her patient. </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Thank you,</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> says
Mum.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Clearly,
the palliative care processes are getting into gear. This is a rare insight
into how care is delivered (as management speak would describe it) to the
bedside. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">During
the night, she gets turned every two hours to prevent bedsores developing. Jan
always apologises for waking her up. </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">That</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s all
right</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">,</span>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> says Mum, "<i>You have to do your
job, I don't mind. I</i></span><i>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">m very grateful</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">."</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We are
enormously impressed with the skill, kindness and compassion shown by all the
professionals involved.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">9 May 2017</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Dr S
visits to check on his patient. She</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s brighter today, though her oxygen
saturation is still perilously low </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> a mere 86%. She tells him she needs to
get better so she can look after </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">my boys.</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;">"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Oh but
they can look after themselves </span>–</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> they</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">re grown
men, married</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">,</span>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> he contradicts. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum
looks confused for a moment. Then: </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I must look after them</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">,</span>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> she
persists. </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I don</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t want them to get girls in the family way</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">.</span>"</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;">"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">But they</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">re
married men</span></i>…<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">.</span>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">. The good doctor doesn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t
realise she</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s talking about her younger brothers in the 1920s and 30s,
rather than her two sons. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Dr S may
be a GP with lots of dementia patients on his books but he clearly has a lot to
learn about how to interact with them. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">10 May 2017</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Eileen,
a carer, reports that Mum said to her, </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">m not
ready to die yet</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">.</span>"</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Yet when
Pam announces, </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We've come to see you, Mum</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">, she
responds with, "<i>Well, I'm always here in this chair. This is my home
now</i>."</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">This is
a big change, the first time she has acknowledged that she</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s at
Abbeyfield permanently, an acceptance that she might not be able to go
home. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">16 May 2017</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum told
the carers this morning, </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I don</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t want
to get up</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">.</span>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> So they left her in bed and were turning
her when we arrived at 10am. She spent the rest of the day in bed, dozing.
Occasionally she would wake and take a sip of juice. When Dr S visited he asked
her if she was comfortable and she replied, </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">reasonable</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">.</span>"</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum
never complains or moans about her lot. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">All she
says is, </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">m ill</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">.</span>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Today
she lay in bed for at least 7 hours, during which time nobody came to turn her.
</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I
challenge Eena about this, telling her standard NHS practice is to turn every 2
hours. But, she says, air mattresses mean this is not necessary. In any case,
she goes on, waking someone every 2 hours makes them very tired. Rather that
than get bed sores, I say. And, I point out, Mum hasn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t got a
working air mattress yet. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Diane,
the District Nurse visited. She confirmed that 2 hours is the required schedule
- no ifs and buts. Jo made up a chart for recording each turn event. Every 2
hours day and night, it proclaimed. But underneath was still written the old
schedule </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> 2 hours in the day and 4 hours at night. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Around
tea-time we sit and wait for someone to come and turn Mum. We wait. And we
wait. After an interval of 3 1/2 hours, Carey pops her head in. I challenge her
about the delay and mention the District Nurse</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s instruction. She insists
that 4 hours is OK; to do it more frequently makes the person tired. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">17 May 2017</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I look
for the chart that records when Mum got turned during the night. It</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s not in
her room. Carey has decided to hide the evidence. Crafty as a bag of monkeys!</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I
complain to Eena and she gets a new chart drawn up. This one has a list of
fixed times for turning Mum </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> every 2 hours. Let</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s see
how they get on with it.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum is
mostly oblivious to all this stuff going on around her. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Now and
again she wakes and gazes blearily around her. </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">m not
finished yet</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">,</span>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> she announces.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">20 May 2017</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Despite
being turned every 2 </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> 3 hours, Mum gets red marks on her
pressure areas. What would help is a working Airflow mattress. She does have one,
delivered over a week ago. But there</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s no pump to keep the air circulating. The
District Nurse service ordered both but the pump never arrived. We keep asking
where it is but they don</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t seem that bothered about chasing it. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Postcript</span></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">: </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">the pump
arrived 3 days later.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;">"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I didn</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t ask
for this. I hope I get better</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">,</span>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> says Mum.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">21 May 2017</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">In
spending entire days (and some nights) at Abbeyfield, we see that the hands-on
staff really are phenomenally caring and hard working. Even during the night,
the emergency buzzers go off at irregular intervals. There are patients to
turn, patients to toilet, patients to bedbath and residents to feed. All
accomplished in a gentle, friendly, considerate manner. There</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s
washing to launder, ironing to do, food to prepare, telephones to answer and
clinicians to deal with. All accomplished with good humour, efficiency and
compassion. It</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s a wonder to behold.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;">"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Thank
you</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">,</span>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> says Mum, ever appreciative.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">22 May 2017</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">An Oops
day</span></b></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">When we
arrive to see Mum early in the morning, we become aware of intense activity in
the room opposite. The resident, a man who has been there for a week on a trial
residency, has gone. Eena is hurriedly stuffing his belongings into a plastic
bag. A man stands by to operate an industrial carpet cleaner. By midday, a new
(female) resident is in place. We learn later that Abbeyfield had double-booked
the room and had to hastily evict the poor man. Oops.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">In the
afternoon, we find a tube of a prescription barrier cream on Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s
dressing table. Thing is, it has someone else</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s name on it. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Oops.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">31 May 2017</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The
District Nurse sent across a pair of crash mats to put on the floor beside Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s bed
when there</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s no carer in attendance. They are mainly used for agitated
sleepers who move around in bed a lot. We had a laugh and a snigger about it
because Mum scarcely ruffles the bedsheets when she sleeps: the provision of
crash mats seemed like a piece of unnecessary NHS box ticking.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Well, a
few hours later, our contempt for the crash mats nearly came back to bite us.
Iona reported that she found Mum trying to get out of bed to </span>‘<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">pay a
call</span></i>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum is
extremely weak, having scarcely eaten for more than a month, is bedbound and
sleeps most of the time. Yet here she is, her indomitable life force still
intact, struggling to maintain her dignity while protecting the Abbeyfield
bedding from soiling. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">25 June 2017</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">On the
unintended consequences of laxatives</span></b></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Having
been bedbound for some 6 weeks, Dr S decided on drastic action to encourage
movement in Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s nether regions. First suppositories, then prodigious
quantities of laxatives, were prescribed. Taking a double dose daily soon had
the desired result. But getting her out of bed onto the commode using a hoist
took its toll on her strength. And there were other side effects, too. This morning</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s
records show she had prolonged diarrhoea. At the same time, she was drinking
very little - a few sips of juice or tea every now and then. Observing that Mum
was bright and chirpy, the staff dressed her and helped her into a wheelchair.
Suddenly she became unresponsive and started fitting. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">This is
a known side effect of severe dehydration. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">She was
hurriedly hoisted back into bed and we, the relatives, were called. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Remarkably,
she recovered and was soon back to her old, chatty self.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">26 June 2017</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Dr S has
been called to check Mum out. He asks Pam if she was present when the seizures
happened yesterday. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Kent,
the member of staff assigned to accompany the doctor, overhears and remarks,
"<i>Oh I didn't know</i>" about the seizures. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The good
doctor looks surprised. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">One
might expect such a significant incident to be mentioned at the shift
changeover. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">But if
not, it would surely have been written up in Mum's Care Plan. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Wouldn't
it? </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">And Kent
would have read it there. Wouldn't she?</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Hmm.
Such certainties never seem to apply at Abbeyfield.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">27 June 2017</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The eyes
have it </span>–</b><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> or maybe not</span></b></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum has
sore eyes she is constantly rubbing. Dr S prescribed medicated wipes,
moisturising cream and eyedrops. While the eyedropper bottle, as the only
'proper' medication, was put in the medicine trolley, the tube of cream
appeared on her bedside table and the wipes vanished into thin air. The
eyedrops were administered 4x daily, as prescribed. But the cream was a
different matter: no-one seemed to know what it was for, except Kay, who
thought it was for applying to Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s arse. She hadn't heard of the wipes
until I told her and she went off to find them.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum's
Care Plan would surely have mentioned these medications. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Wouldn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t it?</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">So why
weren</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t
the staff aware of them, we wonder? </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Later in
the morning, Gabriel, a lovely man, an agency-supplied carer on his first
assignment to Abbeyfield, comes in with a lunch menu request form. Would Mum
like beef stroganoff or fried fish, he enquires. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum eats
very little and has not taken solid food for several weeks.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I feel
embarrassed for Gabriel. I suspect he hasn't been briefed on her needs. Either
that or he hasn't read her Care Plan.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">10 July 2017</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Our DIY
therapist hunt </span></b></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">From
being on the cusp of death a few weeks ago, Mum is back to her old self, with
one exception.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">She can</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t get
out of bed because of her weakened condition </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> she</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s lost
several stones and can scarcely weight bear. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The more
adventurous members of staff can usually get her out of bed and into the
wheelchair but getting her back into bed requires the use of the hoist. This is
tricky because an assessment is needed to ensure the correct size of sling is
used. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Such
mobility assessments are usually done at Abbeyfield by occupational therapists
sent by Social Services. However, Bradford Council have refused to provide one,
citing government cutbacks. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Abbeyfield
have plans to employ their own occupational therapist across the group</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s homes.
But not yet. Jackie Bradfield, the CEO, refused to book a private occupational
therapist on a one-off basis and told me to get one myself.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Thanks
Abbeyfield! Thanks Bradford Council!</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">When Dr
S heard about the problem, he put in a referral to the NHS</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s
Community Occupational Therapy Team. But the good doctor was somewhat pissed
off, if that is the correct term, when he was told they would not be attending.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">This is
because care and nursing homes are required to assess a resident</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s
mobility themselves and to provide the necessary equipment.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Abbeyfield
should not be asking me, a resident</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s representative, to organise a mobility
assessment. That is part of their service, a service that has cost my mother
more than £160,000 over the years. For comparison, a mobility assessment
costs £160.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I sent
an email to the CEO, seeking clarification.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Jackie
Bradfield did not reply, but passed my enquiry to Nicola, the Head of Care
Services. The latter told me not to bother the CEO, advising, </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">As you
will appreciate Jackie has a high number of strategic matters to deal with</span>"</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">.</span></i></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Nicola
went on to inform me that Abbeyfield would, after all, pay for my mother</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s
mobility assessment. On condition that I used their own OT. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">But poor
Nicola hadn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t been keeping her ear to the ground </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> she
wasn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t
aware that Eena had already given me approval to engage my own OT and confirmed
that Abbeyfield would pay!</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">12 July 2017</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Game,
Set and Cash </span></b></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum was
watching the end of Andy Murray's tennis match. The spectators were clapping.
She did likewise.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;">"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Oh I've
won. I've won some money. How much is it? I</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">ve never
won anything before. I'll share it with you</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">,</span>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> she
said, happily.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">19 July 2017</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Twiddlemuff
</span></b></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">In the
current edition of the Newsletter is a report on the Twiddlemuff, a knitted
hand muff with lots of bits and bobs that are supposed to stimulate the minds
of dementia sufferers. There</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s a photo of Andrew, one of the residents,
demonstrating it. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Thing
is, Andrew doesn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t have dementia.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">21 July 2017</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The
Invisible sibling visits</span></b></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">My
Invisible sibling (N) announced a few days ago that he and his wife (J) would
be visiting Mum just before her 102<sup>nd</sup> birthday. Although he was told
10 weeks ago that she was ill, he hasn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t asked after her health since. He had no
idea that she had been close to death. So I hastily emailed him to say they
would not be able to take her out to lunch, as usual, because she was too weak.
</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Never
one to accept an instruction from his brother, he phoned Eena to ask if they
could take his mother to Betty's Café. He was told "<i>No</i>".
</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We piece
together what went on from what the staff tell us. It goes like this:</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">J: </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum is
in bed. We</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">ll need to ask has she had an infection or something</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">.</span>"</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">She
speaks to Carey, asking if they can take Mum out for a walk.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Carey: </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">No, she</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s not
weight bearing</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">. <i>She</i></span><i>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s been really ill.</span></i>"</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">J: </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I know</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">.</span>"</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Later, N
goes to the office to talk to Carey.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">He
reports back to J: </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Apparently she had a chest infection</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">.</span>"</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">They go
into town for a couple of hours.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">On their
return, Mum starts a lecture about the Royal family. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Bored, N
shows her a photograph, declaiming loudly: </span>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">T<i>his is your son,
Stewart. He</i></span><i>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s mad. He</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s
bonkers.</span></i>"</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum: </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Well I
never</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">.</span>"</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">21 September 2017</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">CHC </span></b></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The NHS
called a meeting to assess Mum for CHC (Continuing Health Care) funding. A
nurse presided. A social worker was also there. It was done very efficiently
and we were told the likely outcome </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> no funding. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Here</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s the
thing, though: we</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">d already attended an identical assessment 2 months earlier.
That was when the Community Staff Nurse asked Mum if she was happy for her
personal data to be seen by others. We went through the same questions on the
same forms. It seemed like a waste of everybody</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s time. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">1 October 2017</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum had
a dressing on her shin today. Carey told me she</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">d bashed it on the hoist as
she was being lifted. It</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s a problem, she declared, because the
hoist has to approach her chair from the front. Her long legs are liable to hit
the main strut. They use a pillow to stop them hitting the hoist but, she said,
it can be difficult to keep it in place. She would get the procedure modified
to clarify the technique of using a pillow as padding. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum is
5ft 8in and doesn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t have particularly long legs. It sounded like an excuse so I
observed other members of staff using the hoist. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I saw
that they didn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t use a pillow. As Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s legs lifted off the floor, one carer
kept her legs out of harm</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s way while the other controlled the hoist
and, as soon as she could, swung the sling away from the metal strut that had
caused the previous wound. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">It was
clear that the shin injury had been caused by someone not paying attention to
what Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s legs were doing when they lifted off the floor.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">1 November 2017</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The
wonderful Dr S, Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s GP for the past year, has left. Unique among doctors these
days, he always had more than enough time to sit and chat with his patients and
afterwards, to discuss matters with relatives. He would pop in to see her just
to say </span>‘<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">hello</span></i>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum: </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Who are
you? Are you trying to sell me something?</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Dr S: </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">m your
doctor</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">.</span>"</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum: </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Oh, I
know you</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">re not a doctor. You</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">re a door-to-door salesman.
I don</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t need anything just now.</span></i>"</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Later,
he asked if she was religious.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;">"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We..ell</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">,</span>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> she
said, </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I might be. At my age you have to hedge your bets</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">.</span>"</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">28 December 2017</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Charlotte
tells us that my Invisible brother visited and stayed for an hour. She heard
him shouting repeatedly at her: "<i>What’s going on</i>? <i>What’s going
on</i>?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When she went to
investigate he said, “<i>it’s only me</i>”.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum was
upset for quite a while afterwards.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">5 January 2018</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Normal
NHS service resumes </span></b></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum has
had a cough for a couple of weeks. Last Xmas Eve the home asked her GP to
visit. 15 hours after the request, at 4am on Xmas morning, an out-of-hours
doctor turned up. He prescribed antibiotics, </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">as a
precaution</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">. This seems to be code for: </span>‘<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I haven</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t got a
clue but I</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">ll cover my arse with a prescription</span></i>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">12 days
later, Mum still had a cough, so her GP (the new one) was asked to visit.
Instead, she sent Jan, the Community Matron. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Matron
listened to her chest and prescribed antibiotics, a second course, </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">as a
precaution</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">She must
have forgotten that the basis of Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s care is non-intervention </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> her
medical notes clearly state that she is to get no more than a single course of
antibiotics for a chest infection.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I was
contacted by the Abbeyfield manager and told my consent was needed for the
treatment. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">So I
phoned the practice but couldn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t speak to Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s GP
because she wasn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t at work that day (she works just 2 days a week). </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Another
doctor, Dr C, was asked to call me. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">She didn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t but
instead phoned the home manager and gave her the go ahead to commence
treatment. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Strictly
speaking, my consent to the treatment was not necessary: doctors can prescribe
treatment if they believe that it is in the patient</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s best
interests.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">But NHS
and GMC guidelines state that clinicians <u>must consult</u> with a patient</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s
relatives. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s
doctors have always ignored the guideline.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">1 February 2018</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The
aftermath</span></b></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">3 days
after prescribing the controversial antibiotics, Dr C examined Mum and found
she didn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t need them after all. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The
course was cut short.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">At a
meeting with Dr Senior, Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s GP, I mentioned the presumption against
administering a second course of antibiotics and said we expected to be
consulted about treatment for serious conditions like chest infections.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The GP
said a chest infection is a minor ailment and they don</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t have
time to consult relatives about such things.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I
repeated my expectation that we wanted to be consulted but received no
reassurance. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">It
seemed to me that as soon as the good Dr S left the practice, his successors
chose to ignore the treatment plan (Care Plan) we had agreed with him. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Instead,
they substituted a Care Plan of their own without bothering to consult us.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">This is
in contravention of NHS and GMC guidelines.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">12 March 2018</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum was
in a good mood when she went on an outing to Millstones, a local venue that
regularly puts on song and dance events. Happily jiving to the music, she
remarked to her neighbour, </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">ve not been drinking, you
know</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">".</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">5 April 2018</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Kent
keeps snakes and sometimes shows them to the residents. Mum was shown a small
constrictor. She took hold of its tail and said, "<i>How do you do? I’m so
pleased to meet you</i>".</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">29 May 2018</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">When Pam
visited Mum said, </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">are you here to congratulate me on
qualifying as a doctor</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">?"</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">30 June 2018</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Falling
for the health and safety men</span></b></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">At the
start of the 2018 heatwave, short wire straps appeared on Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s
window. These restricted the opening to a mere 2 inches. It</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s to
stop residents falling out of the window. This indiscriminate HSE rule takes no
account of the fact that Mum, like plenty of others at Abbeyfield, can get
nowhere near the window because she</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s wheelchair-bound.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Since
Abbeyfield</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s management hadn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t thought of providing electric fans in
lieu of a functioning window, I went out and bought a nice-looking
chrome-plated model from Dunelm. It lasted 2 weeks before packing up.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">10 July 2018</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I handed
Mum a printed poem, </span>‘<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Oh to be in England</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> by Robert Browning. She remembered it
from her teaching days and recited it with gusto, with the appropriate rhythm.
She recognised the rhymes and fully understood the meaning of the piece.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">15 July 2018</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">One
afternoon, Fenella, one of the activities organisers, came bouncing into Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s room.
She was pleased with herself for '<i>graduating</i>' in dementia care, after
doing a course for 2 days a month. She does weekly sessions for the residents.
I was fascinated to hear that Mum can do the games, including recognising
animals from sounds and pictures and identifying historical times from sounds
and the smells of baking.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">26 July 2018</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s 103<sup>rd</sup>
birthday party went well. She was relaxed, smiling for photos and for a
presentation by Jackie Bradfield. The outgoing CEO crouched in front of Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s
wheelchair and handed her a large bunch of flowers. Mum said, "<i>there
are only 3 people in this war: the English the Welsh and the Scots and we won</i>.</span>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">
Eena</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s
boisterous children entranced her. With some assistance, she blew out the
candles on the cake. She said, </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">m over 100. You</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">ll be
that age soon</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">23 August 2018</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We are
pleased to hear that Fenella regularly takes Mum for a push around town. When
she</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s
ready to return, she calls for assistance to get the wheelchair back up the
steep road to Abbeyfield.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I met
them one day as they came in through Reception. Mum was plagued with dark
thoughts, thinking there was a war in progress. </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">How are
we going to get back home?</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> she asked. </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We might
get blown up</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">. <i>I'd better escape from here before I burn to death</i>".</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I was
unable to distract her from the constant torrent of doom but she gradually
diverted herself onto other, more congenial, topics that eventually made her
laugh.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">By the
time I left, she was quietly watching TV.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">30 Aug 2018</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum has
a nasty-sounding cough and we</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">re concerned. Pam asks her how she feels. </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Alright</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">, she
says. Then, with a long face: </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I think I'll have to start putting it on a
bit if I want to stay here longer</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">6 Sept 2018</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Dr C
visited to examine Mum because she has been on antibiotics for the cough. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Although
the care staff say she</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s a bit too businesslike, we find her
approachable, considerate and informative. She went over to examine her
patient, while continuing to talk to us. Then she stopped and rebuked herself
for talking over Mum. After the examination she told us Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s lungs
sound fine. There are, she said, some crackles but these are common in patients
who are not mobile. Her temperature and SATS are normal, she said. No other
doctor has ever given us so much information.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We are
all guilty of talking over Mum. She can seldom follow discussions so it seems
easiest to simply talk over her, hoping she doesn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t
notice.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">But she
does notice. One day, while Pam was cutting her nails, Jacqui, one of the
cleaning staff, came in to talk to us. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">"<i>Don't
talk while you're cutting my nails</i>", she rebuked.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">2 Oct 2018</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The
dressing table in Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s room has disappeared. A broad, blank,
grubby wall confronts the visitor entering her room. It</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s hard
to say if she notices the change or feels that the room does not belong to her.
She did, though, remark: </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I don</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t know
who</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s sleeping in that bed. I saw a lady there one day. I think she
has friends here</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">.</span>"</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">As
nobody had bothered to consult us about the dressing table, we asked Eena about
it and learned that its removal gives the staff the space they need to use the
hoist in a safe manner, in a way that avoids bashing her legs. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">It
sounded like a good explanation, but we knew (see 1<sup>st</sup> October 2017)
that some staff members <i>could</i> manage to use the hoist perfectly safely
as long as they were careful. However, we could see that removing the dressing
table would give them an extra safety margin. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We just
wish we</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">d been consulted about it.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">5 Nov 2018</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">In her 5
years</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">
residency at Abbeyfield, Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s room has been given no attention at all </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> not a
lick of paint, or a spring clean, nothing. It did get a new carpet 4 years ago
but we bought that. Management worked hard to come up with excuses for not
doing any redecoration. "<i>Toxic paint</i>" was one of them - Mum
would be required to move into another room for at least 2 days to allow the
smell of the paint to dissipate. This was impractical, not least because
there are seldom any spare rooms for a resident to move into temporarily.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Then, last
week, Eena announced that they could paint the room with a new-fangled
odourless paint, meaning Mum would not need to vacate it for longer than a few
hours. I asked for a pale green paint and offered to take Mum out for the day,
proposing Wednesday. Eena said she would liaise with the decorator and promised
to get back to me.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">8 Nov 2018</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">She didn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t get
back to me. So I called her. She told us the room would be done on Thursday.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">When we
arrived the decorator was slapping dark green paint on the wall. It was a
standard Dulux emulsion, not odourless at all. He said nobody had told him we
wanted a paler colour. But he mixed it with magnolia to lighten it. The result
wasn't quite what we'd envisaged but is still quite acceptable. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">19 Nov 2018</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Carey
phoned in the evening saying Mum was angry and paranoid and would we come over
and try to calm her down. This was serious </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> Abbeyfield had never
before made such a request. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I went
over at once. "<i>You'll be all right in here, as long as you don't try to
get out</i>," she said when I arrived. </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">ve been
trying to escape but they won</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t let me go.</span></i>"</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Slowly,
she calmed down and once she got engrossed in the telly, I tiptoed away.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">20 Nov 2018</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum is
fine today. Abbeyfield tell us they will ask her GP to prescribe Loprazolam to
help with her anxiety attacks. I ask Carey what they will do if she
refuses to take the tablet. She says they will watch her carefully and, before
an attack gets bad, while she's still cooperative, ask her to take a tablet.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">It
sounds like an optimistic strategy.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">10 Dec 2018</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We spend
over an hour with Carey reviewing the current edition of Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s Care
Plan.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">She
tells us Mum was badly agitated last week. She refused to take the Loprazolam
tablet. She probably thought they were trying to poison her.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The following
day they managed to get her to take a tablet. It was the minimum 1mg dose. But
it was still too much and she slept for 12 hours. The recommended dose
for the elderly is actually 0.5mg. Yet Loprazolam is only available in
1mg tablets. Abbeyfield will have to ask their pharmacist to cut the
tablets in half. Odd, that.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">11 Dec 2018</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Carey
phoned to tell us my Invisible sibling had just turned up, on his own, for his
Xmas visit. Later, she told us, he was on his phone all the time his mother was
talking to him. So she, Carey, marched in and suggested he take her to a
singing event in another part of the building. He replied saying, "<i>I
don't sing</i>", but did take the hint, wheeling his mother along to the
event. Then he abandoned her and vanished.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">10 March 2019</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum has
been at Abbeyfield for almost 6 years. No manager has ever, in all that time,
done what is commonplace these days in establishments, such as restaurants that
offer a service, and asked: "<i>Is everything all right for you and your
Mum</i>?" </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Although
the current crop of management and staff are perfectly happy to talk to us,
there is no simple conduit for giving them feedback, leading us to assume that
they aren</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t really interested in what relatives have to say. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">When we
make suggestions we have to make an appointment with Eena or her deputy, then
try to make it look as if we are not making a complaint.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Today we
found the top shelf of Mum</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s wardrobe was stuffed with boxes of
dressings, put there by the District Nurses. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">On the
far side of the room, with its castored feet tucked under the bed, was the
shared hoist, unpleasantly obtrusive. Next to it stood Mum's wheelchair,
blocking access to a chest of drawers. It could easily have been parked in the
bathroom.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The
afternoon tea trolley came round at 3pm. A newcomer, a pleasant young man was
in charge of it. He had no uniform or name tag. And no idea that the tea
is supposed to be delivered cooled down, to avoid any risk of the scalding that
happened in 2014. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">It</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s in
Mum's Care Plan. We wonder if anyone bothers to read it.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">On
departure we collected at least a dozen tea-stained copies of Hello magazine
that were strewn around the room and took them away.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Why have
I mentioned all this? </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Well,
when staff get complacent they are apt to be lazy. It's human nature.
Management</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s job is to keep people on their toes. One of the residents is
a peer of the realm, Baroness Lockwood. She has rather a loud voice. It is hard
to imagine <u>her</u> room being treated like Mum's, a dumping ground for
hoists, wheelchairs, medical supplies and old magazines. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">25 March 2019</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">When we
visited, we found Mum sitting in her wheelchair in the lounge, all alone. She
was staring, looking baffled, at an interactive table projector – one of those
you slap or stroke to reveal interesting shapes, scenes and sounds. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">When
someone is there to control the machine and show her what to do, she enjoys it
immensely.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">26 March 2019</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum has
been sick and was prescribed Gaviscon and Lanzoprazole on 14 March. Nearly two
weeks later, neither has been administered. We get a different story whenever
we ask about them.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Today,
Carey admitted the medication had been put in the wrong box, the one for
recurrent medications. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">In an
effort to cover herself, she claimed that both meds are prescribed to relieve
sickness; Mum is only to get them when she feels sick; that is why they have
not yet been administered.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum has
been sick several times but, as one might expect, has not been able to tell
anyone in advance.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I phoned
the surgery for the true facts. I was told that the Gaviscon is to be
administered when she feels sick while the Lanzoprazole is a regular daily dose
lasting 2 weeks. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">On the
subject of administrative competence, we learned that Abbeyfield is currently
involved in an upsetting incident concerning a resident who has just died. The
local hospital, where she died, failed to notify anyone of the death. When they
were eventually told, Abbeyfield failed to notify the resident</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s
friend, who had Power of Attorney and was her de facto next of kin. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Oops!</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">30 March 2019</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I ask
how Mum is tolerating the Gaviscon and Lanzoprazole she was prescribed. Kay
checks the Medicines Book but there</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s no record of any medication being
prescribed or administered. Nothing. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">7 April 2019</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Carey
told me Mum has not been given any medication because there have been no
further sickness episodes. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Then she
said she had been given Lanzoprazole for 7 days.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Hmm. The
prescription said 14 days. And it isn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t recorded in the Medicines Book.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">11 April 2019</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Pam went
to Abbeyfield to take Mum to their Easter Fayre, having forewarned the staff.
They</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">d
got her dressed and put her in the wheelchair and then left her, on her own, in
the small reception area. When Pam found her she was looking bereft and
weeping, saying: </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">they</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">ve left me here to die</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">She
perked up when taken down to the sunny courtyard where the Fayre was in
progress.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Why am I
mentioning this? </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Well, we
think the caring at Abbeyfield is good but, on occasions, can be a bit
perfunctory. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The
other day Pam observed a carer bringing Mum her lunch. She entered the room
with the tray, plonked it down in front of Mum, then left without saying a
single word.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Only one
member of staff has, to our knowledge, ever taken the time to sit and chat to
residents (see 19 November 2015). And she, Kelly, was openly criticised by the
others for wasting time and not </span>‘<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">getting on with it'.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We think
some staff don</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t quite understand that caring for a resident, particularly one
with dementia, should be about more than toileting, dressing and feeding. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The
whole person, not just the physical body, should be attended to.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">28 April 2019</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">While we
were visiting, Nish came in with her medication, in a tumbler. And left it
there, on her table, presumably hoping that she would take it. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">She didn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">22 June 2019</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">It</span>’</b><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s just her
dementia </span></b></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Today
one of the residents, a tiny, frail lady, was in great distress. She was crying
and shouting, </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Help me, help me</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">. The
noise could be heard all over the Residential Unit. No members of staff were to
be seen. Pam, on her way to see Mum, stopped to hold her hand and comfort her.
There was a strong smell </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> she had soiled herself, a likely cause of
her anguish. A visitor came by and asked why there were no carers about. After
a while, Pam let go of her hand and went to find someone. Just then, Nish
appeared. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Now we
have always found Nish to be rather laid back, a bit distant and not very
informative. If we were to ask a question about Mum Nish would not know the
answer: he never seems to know what</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s in the Care Plan or the Daily Diary. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Anyway,
Pam told Nish how upset the resident was and asked for something to be done.
Nish responded with irritation, saying, </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">It</span>’</i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s just
her dementia</span></i>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">, as though there was nothing to be done.
He had almost certainly heard the commotion and had chosen to ignore it. The
poor lady could carry on screaming the place down as far as Nish was concerned </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> it was
just one of those things.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Pam told
Nish about the soiling and only then was action taken - an assistant was
summoned and the lady wheeled away to be cleaned up. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">23 June 2019</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">To be
fair to Abbeyfield, we have noticed a significant policy change over the years.
Back in 2013 there were no residents with dementia - they were generally
excluded. Mum was taken on because she was perfectly manageable, having
demonstrated this during her respite sessions. Six years on, about a quarter of
residents have some degree of dementia. A similar number have conditions that
require constant monitoring, including regular night-time turning to avoid
bedsores, and the use of equipment such as hoists. What the staff have to do
can</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t
be far removed from full-on nursing care. It's to the great credit of
Abbeyfield and its hard-working staff that nearly all high dependency residents
have been allowed to remain in their familiar rooms and haven</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t been
shipped off to nursing homes.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">28 Sept 2019</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Most
years, Mum goes to an over-90s party organised by a local charity. They put on
a buffet and bring on musicians and comedians and singing and dancing. Space is
limited, however, and you have to get your booking in early. One year,
Abbeyfield </span>‘<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">forgot</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> to make a booking and she missed out.
This year we made sure Tina, the Activities Organiser, knew about the event and
kept checking that she</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">d made the bookings. But 3 weeks before
the party she told us the organisers had cancelled it for people from care
homes due to their excessive numbers. They wanted to prioritise elderly folk
who lived on their own, a perfectly laudable strategy, we thought. Except
that it wasn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t true. The charity told me they allocated space on a
first-come-first-served basis and had plenty of care home residents
going. We drew the obvious conclusion that Tina hadn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t got
her act together in time but had decided to cover it up and invent a plausible
reason for not booking Mum to the party.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">1 Nov 2019</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The
Registered Manager of a care home is the official point of contact for
residents as well as for the relatives of residents who cannot speak for
themselves. Since her arrival, Eena has been conspicuous by her absence
from the shop window. We have not seen her for months. As she doesn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t
communicate by email, we have no means of getting updates or of making
complaints or suggestions. To do these things, we have to talk to whoever
happens to be on duty at the time of our visits. And there is no guarantee that
anything we say will be passed on to other members of staff. Higher
management doesn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t seem to understand the importance of communicating with the
people who pay their salaries. Today we learned that Eena has been off sick for
a month and is now away on a fortnight</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s holiday. Nobody upstairs thought it
worth telling us.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">19 Nov 2019</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Good
news! At long last, a replacement Activities Coordinator has been
appointed. Holly wasted no time in getting to know her residents</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> needs,
their abilities and disabilities and their personalities. When we talked
to her </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> and we have already had two lengthy chats </span>–<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> she
already knew that Mum's eyesight is failing and had a few bright ideas for
getting round the problem while taking her mind for walks.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">2 Dec 2019</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We get
Mum ready to go out for a fish and chip lunch. </span>"<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I'm not
so good at walking</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">,</span>"<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> she says. Then she starts
tittering. "<i>When you're getting old you have to laugh</i>.</span>"</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Carey
comes in with the hoist. She has to get really close to put the slings in
position. "<i>One old face looking at another</i>," says Mum. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">8 Dec 2019</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum has
been a bit agitated this week. When she's like this she will blether<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>endlessly about subjects ranging from war
with Russia to the problems of Europe, from illness in the family to the
terrible food they serve up here. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">At its
rare worst, she can shout at people. She sometimes does it in the Dining
Room, while sitting, waiting, waiting, waiting for food to be served, bursting
out angrily that the other diners are being neglected.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">It</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s a sign
of frustration borne out of not knowing what's happening, of not having her
voice heard and of having a mind that is full of contradictory fragments of
knowledge that don</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t make much sense of the world.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">As I
mentioned, she</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s been a bit agitated this week. And there</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s an
obvious cause. When her telly broke it was taken away and replaced with, well,
nothing. For several days, Mum had to stare at a blank space where the telly
had been. Anyone forced to sit in front of an empty space all day would get
frustrated. For compensation, someone plonked a portable CD player beside her
chair. It</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">s musical prattle irritated her even more.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Fitz,
when she came on shift, was appalled at the thoughtlessness of her fellow
carers. She found an unwanted, but rather wonky, TV and installed it. It didn</span>’<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">t work
very well because the TV removal man had also taken the aerial cable and the
remote control. But it was better than nothing.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I asked
Eena about the telly. They did not have a replacement, she said. I would have
to buy a new one myself. So that is what I did, whilst reflecting that the cost
was 1/1000<sup>th</sup> of the sum my mother has paid Abbeyfield over the 6
years she has lived there.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">17 Dec 2019</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">"<i>I've
had an illness, I haven't been well. Perhaps that's why I'm speaking so silly.
Can't be my house. Where is my house then? Something very fishy. I'm onto fish
now. Maybe I'm going to be a fish. I can't swim. How can I stay in a fish place
if I can't swim?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They'd put me out immediately.
I'd need to be taught to swim then. There's something wrong with my head in
there. I'm not thinking in the right things. I've been ill. I've lost my
memory. Maybe I've lost the old brain in here. It's up here somewhere. I can't
live properly if I haven't got a brain. I'm just like an animal but even
animals have got brains.</i></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">So that's what's happening to me is it - taken over by a
different lot of people?</span></i></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I'll soon be put in special rooms - like cabins .. in a
hospital…"</span></i></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">25 Dec 2019</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">On
opening presents: "<i>People look at your face when you open their
presents and you have to look happy</i>!"</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">7 Jan 2020</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">A member
of staff, a good-looking girl, tells us that once, during a visit, my brother
barked at her, saying "<i>woof, woof</i>", when she entered the room.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">30 Jan 2020</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Eena
called yesterday to say Mum had a brief episode of fitting in the morning.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Later, the ever-thoughtful Marcella phoned to say the Community
Matron thinks the fitting was caused by a UTI and they will get a test done
tomorrow. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">When we visited today, Will, a new (male) member of staff said
she had started antibiotics. What for, we asked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He didn’t know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Are they
for a UTI, we prompted?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh yes, that’s
what they’re for, he said.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">3 Feb 2020</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Care
Plan</span></b></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The annual Care Plan review is due.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were booked to do it with Mum’s
keyworker, Kay. She's done a great job revamping the Care Plan from a
higgledy-piggledy jumble of repetitive instructions to a well-organised
document. I think it’s great that it now has a summary page, which might
encourage staff to actually read it.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">At the last minute, Carey took over the review. We weren't told
why.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now public relations is Carey's
forte: she would be an asset to any organisation that deals directly with
clients.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She has the ability to think
on her feet and come up with plausible reasons that deflect any concerns
clients might have.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For example, it is
usual to find encrusted food remains on Mum's chest and on her table. I asked
if the Care Plan could include an instruction to clean up the mess as soon as
she’s finished eating. Well, said Carey, that's the job of the cleaners, not
the care staff. But one of the cleaners had already complained to me that she
frequently cleans Mum’s dirty apron, even though it is not her job. In any
case, the cleaners are only there in the mornings… . Caught out, Carey agreed
to put the instruction in the Care Plan.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">It matters not a jot: only the CQC ever reads Care Plans. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We know this because agency staff consistently bring Mum tea
that is too hot, despite a clear instruction to avoid serving drinks that might
scald her. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not hard to see why
agency staff don't read care plans: when starting a shift in a new care home
you would need to spend half a day reading the care plans of all the residents.
</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">It simply isn’t practical.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">6 Feb 2020</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Theft</span></b></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Mum has
had her first theft after more than 6 years at Abbeyfield: a bottle of Chanel
No 5 has vanished from her handbag. It was there, undisturbed, for more than a
year.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Some weeks later, when we casually asked Fitz what had happened
to Andy, a recently employed senior carer, she told us he had "<i>left
under a cloud, I can’t say more</i>".</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">In the absence of any information from management, it seems
fair to assume that Andy was responsible for the disappearance of the perfume
bottle.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">A Coronavirus Diary</span></b></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">3 March 2020</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Today,
there was a letter lying on the table in Mum’s room. Addressed to me, it was a
notice from the administrators advising that next year’s rent increase is to be
a whopping 13%. Thing is, the rest of the letter stated that the general
increase in rents would be 3.5%. It took a couple of phone calls to different
managers before I learned it was a mistake – her room had been confused with
someone else’s. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">11 March 2020 </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">With the
coronavirus creating alarm across the country, I email Eena to ask if
Abbeyfield have a policy on the virus. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">13 March 2020 </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">At midday a letter arrives from the CEO. It states that he is
awaiting a Government decision on the coronavirus crisis. Then, notwithstanding
the fact that Government policy is that healthy people should continue to visit
their relatives in care homes, Carey phones at just before 7 in the evening
telling us that Grove House is now in lockdown. There are to be no visits by
relatives. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Seems like a drastic, but sensible, move. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">29 May 2020 </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Eena
calls to say that testing for the virus is in progress, as per government</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> policy. She has decided not to give Mum, and a few others, the
test because it is quite invasive and might distress them. Nobody at Grove
House has tested positive. So far. This, we think, is quite an achievement
given that around a third of all the care homes in the district are supposed to
be infected. As well as doing all the right things to combat the virus, it is
clear that Abbeyfield has also been very lucky. We know of an expensive care
home nearby that closed to visitors at the end of February, a full two weeks
before Grove House. Yet they have suffered six deaths – all because the local
hospital discharged infected patients back to the home. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">5 June 2020 </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">During
the past 3 months or so, Abbeyfield Grove House has kept us in the</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> loop with sporadic updates in the form of newsletters. We hope
that when the crisis is all over, we won’t be shunted back into their usual
information siding. We speak regularly to the staff on the Unit. They always
sound upbeat and tell us that Mum is doing well. With no hint from the
Government about an end to the lockdown, it was quite a surprise to be offered
an appointment to see Mum in the courtyard, subject to stringent hygiene
conditions. The day turned out to be bitterly cold. We were given blankets to
cocoon us and ushered into a gazebo pitched in the courtyard. There was a box
of masks and bottles of sanitiser on a table. It was all nicely-organised. As
ever, the members of staff we encountered were chatty and cheery. Considering the
enormous strain they must be under, they do an amazing job. Mum was wheeled in.
She didn’t look in the least surprised to be confronted by two masked
individuals sitting 2 metres distant. She immediately launched into a lecture
on healthy eating. Meat, she declared, is important but only in small
quantities. It is best eaten "<i>when it’s nearly dead</i>". </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">30 July 2020</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">This year we could not celebrate Mum’s 105<sup>th</sup> with
her because it fell on a Sunday, when visits are not allowed. Carey told us
there would be a 'do', with a cake, in the Residents’ Lounge that day. </span><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</xml><![endif]--><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN;">It
actually took place the following afternoon, a Monday, when visits <u>are</u>
allowed. </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">We were promised pictures of the
event. Well, we visited Mum under the gazebo on the following Wednesday. No
pictures were forthcoming, but Ivy did bring the Queen’s birthday card for us
to see. I showed it to Mum. She saw that it was the Queen on the front but
couldn't make out the text. When we read her the message, she was none the
wiser. The sides of the gazebo had been lifted, so she could see the whole of
the courtyard. With its parasol tables it looked a bit like a cafe by the
beach, although the tables were empty and nobody brought cups of tea. Mum
thought the service was very poor. She would not go back to this tea room, she
declared. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Fed up with waiting, she asked, "<i>Can I go home now</i>?"</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">3 August 2020</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Following the Government’s relaxation of
the rules, we can now visit Mum in her room. At Reception, our temperatures
were taken. Mine was a chilly 35.3ºC. Someone came to escort us to the
Residential Unit, to make sure we didn't linger and didn't touch anything. Once
in Mum's room, we were instructed not to leave. Mum was relaxed, going on about
being a tour guide in London (Parliament etc). She appeared to recognise me and
seemed fairly compos mentis. She looked at me and said I was very dark and she
couldn't see me properly; she complained about the TV being dark: her eyesight
must be quite bad now. Because we have to book in advance, our visits can now
be predicted. The result, we note with amusement, is that Mum’s room is
noticeably cleaner and tidier than it has ever been. Today, even her tray,
normally encrusted with food gunge, was fresh and clean. The DVDs were tidied
away in a drawer and the clock was set to the right date. The one thing that missed
out on the deep clean was the TV remote: it was caked in grime - until I
attacked it with a baby wipe. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">When our allotted hour was over, we waited
for an escort, but nobody came. It turned out that the duty staff assumed we
would leave and make our own way downstairs. Looking for clarification on the
procedures, I emailed info@abbeyfieldthedales.co.uk, the only email address
Abbeyfield publishes. As ever, there was no response, so I guessed the CEO's
email address and asked him the question. Two days later, he sent an apology
saying, "<i>things haven't been as clear to you and our staff as they
should be and I ask that you take a flexible approach when visiting</i>". </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">5 August 2020</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Frustrated about the lack of pictures of
Mum's birthday party, I email Eena about them. Five minutes later, she sends
across 3 photos of Mum with the cake in front of her. This crisis, one which
severely restricts access to our relative, hasn't prompted Grove House managers
to improve their communications: the phone system is as bad as it was when we
started visiting 10 years ago; this afternoon we took it in turns to dial the
Residential Unit. We eventually got an answer in the early evening, 4 hours
later. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">28 September 2020</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">For almost 3 months we were able to see
Mum outside, under the gazebo, on a weekly basis. Then, when the Government
relaxed the restrictions, we have been able to see her in her room. But from
mid-September the Government imposed a local lockdown and Grove House brought </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">in</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> its own restrictions. Visits were again restricted to the
gazebo. Then came the news we’ve dreaded since March – two people, both
residents, have tested positive for Covid19. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">We are banned from all visits.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">5 October 2020</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Good news. Through the grapevine we learn
that the two residents who tested positive last week have no symptoms and are
OK. And everyone else who was tested last week, including Mum, is negative.
Outdoor visits can continue.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">20 October 2020 </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">When we try to book a visit to see Mum,
nobody, not even the switchboard, answers the phone for over an hour. This is
because, we learn, everyone is at a meeting. The subject of discussion is
probably the fact that four Covid test results have not been returned by the
testing company. The four people involved will have to be tested again and
until negative results are returned, nobody can visit. I get all this from
Trish, the helpful, ever-efficient receptionist. Abbeyfield </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">have </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">never issued an official notification of the ban. Phil
Birkinshaw, the CEO, later wrote that the problem (of the missing test results)
has been "<i>escalated to an Investigations Team</i>". We take this
to mean that the test results have got lost. To add to the impression of chaos
at the testing centres, a member of staff told that a friend of hers booked a
test in Bradford and went to the test centre in her lunch break. There was a
huge queue in front of her so, having limited time to spare, she went back to
work without getting the test. 3 days later she got a text message telling her
she had tested positive! </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">30 October 2020</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">With another lockdown due we book to see
Mum in the gazebo. At the gate a nurse slipping out for a fag lets us in. There
are two empty parking spaces so I ask if I can park the car but she refuses. So
I drop Pam off, </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">find a parking space miles away,</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> then
walk back to the gate, which is closed again. While I wait for Reception to
answer the intercom and unlock the gate, a maintenance man comes by and lets me
in. The entire process has taken nearly 10 minutes out of the appointed hour.
In the gazebo there is no sanitising fluid and no masks, like there were last
time. Pam is wearing a mask, which Mum thinks is a bandage. Quite reasonably,
she tells Pam she hopes her face will get better soon. Mum isn’t wearing a
mask. She is in full flow, chattering about the benefits of living in Scotland
(the climate is much warmer there), seldom noticing our responses. She has no
idea who I am and thinks Pam is a cousin. She has been well wrapped up but her
hands are bare and the temperature is only 10ºC. Looking up, we can see what
might be a heater hanging from the roof. After 20 minutes the maintenance man
passes by and asks if we would like the heater switched on. It’s on a 30 minute
timer, he says. He disappears into the building and, moments later, a weak red
glow washes over Mum. It’s directed at the resident’s chair so goes nowhere
near us, but at least it should warm her up a bit. Then, after only 30 seconds,
the heater conks out and the autumn chill returns. The only means of contacting
the staff is by phone. So I call to say Mum is cold, asking for her to be taken
back to her room. When Fitz and Jo appear they point at me, telling her, "<i>this
is your son, Stewart</i>". Taken aback, she peers at me: "<i>Stewart?
It’s my Stewart? I have a son Stewart. It doesn’t look like him. This one’s got
no hair</i>". </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">4 November 2020</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">We get an update from Grove House telling
us that there are to be no more visits either inside or outside. This, says the
CEO, follows the Government guidance that came out when the latest nationwide
lockdown was announced. Unfortunately, the update is already out of date:
following a judgement in the Court of Protection, the Government has just
announced that visits to care home residents <b>are</b> allowed, subject to the
usual precautions. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">12 November 2020</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Birkinshaw wrote to tell us that up to two
designated relatives can visit, though not at the same time. The staff, though,
have interpreted this to mean that only one relative can be designated to
visit. So I get the short straw and return to the gazebo alone, in Nippy
November. This time the heater works fine. It does go off 10 minutes before the
end of the session, but there’s a residue of heat that keeps our fingers above
freezing point. Just. The theme for the visit is care homes: "<i>People
are living longer but somebody's got to look after them. They've got homes
galore for people who can hardly make a meal for themselves. It'll come to me
some day I suppose but by that time I'll have no family left. Who's to look
after me then</i>?" (laughs) </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">24 November 2020</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">It has been a week since the CEO wrote to
cancel all visits because of a Covid19 outbreak at the Grove House apartments.
7 residents tested positive. A "<i>number of staff</i>" were also
infected. We thought it a bit odd that the number of staff who tested positive was
not specified, but perhaps the CEO thinks it's something we don't need to know.
As the latest batch of results from tests done on the 18th must have come back
by now, asked the Registered Manager if there is an update in the offing, so
that we might learn when we can visit again. She didn’t know. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">3 December 2020 </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Some positive news at last: Abbeyfield are
to install "pods" to allow relatives to visit their loved ones in
comfort and safety. Visits are due to start on the 14th. I now have
clarification, of sorts, of the visitor numbers rule. The CEO told me that
"<i>2 can visit at a time whilst attempting to keep that to 1 if possible
to reduce the risk</i>." The latest update gave no information on last
month's Covid19 outbreak. Is it a case of No News Is Good News and it's now
safe to visit again? We don't know. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">17 December 2020</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">As promised, a couple of pods have been
installed and are ready for use. Great, we thought, and enquired about a
booking. But a senior carer dashed our hopes, saying Mum might be spooked by
the pods, they are so small. We don't know what they look like - a photo would
have been helpful - but when someone else described them as '<i>coffins</i>' we
accepted that we won't be seeing Mum until the Government ease restrictions at
Christmas. Sadly, the day after we booked for the two of us to visit Mum on
Christmas Eve, the CEO wrote saying that, "<i>Only one of the two
designated visitors will be allowed to visit at any time</i>." </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">24 December 2020</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I turn up, alone, to see Mum. The staff
aren't aware of the CEO's recent instruction and are expecting the two of us.
Never mind - it's complicated enough just processing one person: issue a
testing kit; give instructions on how to take a swab, whilst warning about the
gagging reflex; get them to complete a paper contact form; get them to complete
an electronic form (tricky if you're not used to using a smart-phone); wait 20
minutes for the test result; get them to don plastic gloves and an apron; and
finally, lead them through the building to the designated visiting room. Mum is
slumped in her chair. My appearance perks her up and she starts chattering.
Considering her future, she says, "<i>I've got a good few years before I
retire</i>". She reads her cards and successfully pulls a couple of
crackers, disappointed not to get the sections containing the prizes.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">28 December 2020</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Pam
</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">phoned to ask the Manager whether Mum
coped with whatever was laid on for the residents on Christmas Day and if there
are any photos. But she didn't know. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">12 January 2021</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">The Government has just published its
Guidelines for Visiting care homes during Covid-19. Section 1.3 concerns
policies on visiting. It says, "...<i>those with power of attorney should
be consulted, and ... must consent on the person’s behalf to the visiting
policy</i>". </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">All well and good, but, as POA, I can't
recall ever being consulted about anything to do with visiting. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">23 June 2021</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">With the gradual relaxing of restrictions,
coupled with increasingly clement weather, we have been able to take Mum
outside, sometimes as far as the town. She enjoys these excursions immensely.
She observes what's going on and comments on the plants, animals, people and
buildings she sees. However, she usually starts a visit quietly, with a
downcast demeanour. Things are not to her liking: the tea is nothing special,
too cold, tasteless; the flowers in the borders are faded and listless; the
weather is dull. Miraculously, as times goes on, she perks up and soon
collapses into fits of giggles about this or that observation. The tea becomes
good, the flowers lovely, the weather nice and warm. The themes of her
conversation vary from visit to visit: one day it might be European wars and
fighting with swords; another day might be devoted to the differences between
north and south; on another day she might recognise the value of maidservants.
But yesterday she seemed to point to the source of her low moods: boredom,
brought about by lack of attention. Although it is hard to be sure, we wonder
if these few remarks point to a feeling of being abandoned in her room and left
to her own devices: "<i>The whole place is like that. Nobody cares.
They're only caring about themselves, perhaps, that's all. I think this place
is typical of all the other places in the whole country....that's the only sort
of place you'll ever be near a hospital. They're really terrible. There seems
to be nobody in charge of it either that you can speak to about what you think
of it. And nobody comes. No.</i> <i>Nobody comes</i>". </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">We wonder if that says it all. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">27 July 2021</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Mum’s 106<sup>th</sup> birthday was celebrated
yesterday. Well, sort of. We didn’t attend because there was to be a party in
the dining room and visitors are still not allowed in communal areas. On the
day, though, staff decided a party might be too stressful for her. Instead, we
were told, they fed her slices of birthday cake in her room. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">So I proposed collecting Mum this morning and taking her to our
house for a birthday party in the garden with a couple of friends. The Manager
was perfectly happy with this arrangement. We festooned the garden with
birthday decorations and bought another cake. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Collecting Mum from Abbeyfield on such
occasions requires patience: they usually bring her down late. Although she was
a mere 10 minutes late on this occasion, our taxi driver was scathing.
Abbeyfield, he declared, is terrible at organising things: people don’t
communicate. But, he went on, they’re all the same in Ilkley. And Abbeyfield
isn’t the worst: that accolade goes to the care home "<i>on the hill</i>".
</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Carefully, he loaded Mum into the back of
the taxi, got into the driving seat and drove off. He didn’t need to start the
engine: it had remained running for the last 15 minutes, pumping exhaust fumes
into Abbeyfield’s grand entrance.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Abbeyfield’s idea of dressing Mum for her
day out wasn’t quite what we expected: there were none of the clothes we’d
requested; they’d put bedroom slippers on her feet; her dentures were missing
and her glasses had been forgotten. Her fingernails, though neatly trimmed,
were dirty and her chin needed a shave.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">As the taxi driver said, "<i>if it’s
like this when you’re here, what’s it like when you’re not</i>?"</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">At the start of her day, Mum was anxious
and paranoid: she was ill, she said, and refused the tea in case it was
poisoned. But, as ever in attentive company, she slowly relaxed and was soon
giggling merrily, even as she delivered a lecture on housework.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">At the end of a delightful afternoon, I
took Mum back to Abbeyfield. "<i>This is a nice hotel,</i>" I
suggested. "<i>Would you like a cup of tea</i>?" "<i>Oh yes,</i>"
she replied. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I had to repeat the subterfuge at least 10
times because we had to wait 15 minutes for her to be collected.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Norman, the carer on duty, let slip that she’d got a card from
the Queen. This was news to me because I’d twice been told that no royal card
had arrived. I asked him about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
told me he’d found it in the office among a pile of other mail.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">This didn’t surprise me – I was used to
finding mail that was days, weeks, and even months old. Over the years, quite a
lot of important mail has simply gone missing. Mum used to get the blame for
binning it but now I’m not so sure.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">04 September 2021</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">A podiatrist visits the home every 6 weeks
or so. I had to phone the company, LFW Podiatry, because it demands payment in
advance. I already knew that the cost of the session will be 20% more than last
time. I asked about it. "<i>Yes,</i>" she said, "<i>there's been
a slight increase</i>." </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">07 September 2021</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">During the lockdown, when we were unable
to visit for long periods, I would ask the staff if Mum got taken outside much,
something she loves doing. Oh yes, I was always assured, she (and other
residents who like going outside) would often be taken down to the courtyard on
nice days. Today was glorious and we turned up, without an appointment, fully
expecting to find various residents sunning themselves in the courtyard. But it
was empty. We found Mum in her room, fretting. She'd been sacked from her job,
she said, and didn't know how she was going to support her family. And the job?
Well, it was nursing. She didn't like it much. In particular, she did not like
caring for men, "<i>with all their dangly bits</i>". We asked that
she be put into a wheelchair and we took her down to the courtyard where,
instantly, her mood brightened. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">08 September 2021</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">It's another lovely day, so makes another
visit. Once again, there are no residents in the courtyard. Not in the morning.
Not in the afternoon. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">10 September 2021</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">The strange
case of the wandering floor lamp</span></b></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Among the many possessions that have gone
missing from Mum's room over the years - her wedding ring, a multitude of
clothes, bedding, hair drier, scissors, glasses, Chanel No 5 ("<i>my
favourite, given to me in Paris after D Day</i>") - was a floor lamp that
stood behind her chair to help with reading. It disappeared during the
lockdown. The manager thought it might be in a storeroom but didn't offer to
look for it. Several weeks later Pam, who is more forthright than me, asked
Janet, a junior carer, about the lamp and other missing items. Janet didn't
know, but took the problem seriously and reported it to the deputy manager. A
cleaner was asked to do the searching and found the lamp in another resident's
room. How had it got there? Nobody is saying. Is the other resident a lamp
thief? Or did a certain member of the management team think the lamp might look
better in someone else's room? Who knows and, if they do, they’re not telling. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">It’s worth saying that Abbeyfield’s Statement of Purpose makes
it clear that residents’ possessions are <b>private</b>: that is to say they
are not to be taken for communal use, without consent.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">16 September 2021</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Today Mum talked about her father, one of
a family of 10 boys. "<i>They should cut down their children</i>",
she declared. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">"<i>Cut down their children</i>?"
I queried. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">"<i>Sorry, I mean cut down the <u>amount</u>
of their children, ha ha</i>". </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">3 October 2021 </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">As soon as we arrived today, Mum launched
into her theme for the day: theft. Thievery is everywhere, she declared.
Looking at an early picture of her husband, she said, "<i>that man is
still alive but he's still a thief</i>". Sundays at Abbeyfield are usually
quiet and relaxed. Today the staff looked harassed and a bit down. Far from the
Covid crisis being over, its effects are being felt big time. Take the Health
Minister's recent statement to the BBC: "<i>If you work in a care home you
are working with some of the most vulnerable people in our country, and if you
cannot be bothered to go and get vaccinated then get out and go and get another
job</i>." There speaks an ignorant man who hasn't a clue about what goes
on in the real world. One staff member was obliged to get vaccinated, despite
her protestations: she nearly died and, the CEO tells us, will be off sick for
many months. In a soothing letter to relatives, he wrote, "<i>I am
confident we have the right resources, support and oversight for the
residential care service</i>". He made no mention, supposing he is aware
of it, of a looming crisis in staff morale and recruitment: Grove House used to
have a low staff turnover but currently has 7 vacancies - there is clearly a
shortage of staff; at least 2 members of staff are having to leave because they
don't want to get vaccinated; the situation is exacerbated by management's
policy of taking on new residents who have advanced dementia. Yet the
Residential Unit has neither the facilities nor the additional trained staff to
handle such people. The Unit never used to accept residents with dementia (my
mother was exempted from the rule because the manager at the time, a wise
woman, saw that her dementia was benign and would cause no problems; she was
proved right: my mother has generally been a delight to look after). Until the
start of the pandemic, there were only ever 2 or 3 residents with dementia. I
recall that one was actually told to move to a more suitable home because the
Unit could not cope with her behaviour.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Now it looks as though most of the residents have the illness. With no
extra staff being taken on, the existing carers are running around like
blue-arsed flies, doing extra hours and generally feeling under severe
pressure.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">7 October 2021</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">We learned today that Abbeyfield has
another policy that reduces staff numbers: employees who are close relatives –
siblings, mothers and daughters etc – are not permitted to work together on the
same unit in case they cover up for one another during an incident that requires
investigation. This is from an organisation whose managers' first instinct is
to cover up their mistakes. Ah, the irony!</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">10 October 2021</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">For the third time in recent days, Ilkley
Moor Medical Practice, my mother's GP service, has asked me to sign consent forms
approving her Covid and flu jabs. I wonder if this means the GPs will, in
future, ask for my consent for other treatments. Up to now, they haven't
bothered. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I was reminded of a conversation we had in
2018 with Dr Senior, a partner at the practice, when I asked if the practice
GPs would consult us about Mum's treatment. No, she said brusquely: they do <b>not</b>
need to ask our advice about these things and, anyway, there is no time to
phone relatives.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Such a helpful doctor.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">30 November 2021</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">We attended the funeral of a resident who
had been at Abbeyfield even longer than our Mum. Abbeyfield did not send an
official representative. One staff member did go, however: she had to drag
herself from her sick bed to do so. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">31 November 2021</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">We were called just after midnight by a
frightened member of Abbeyfield’s night team.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Mum was vomiting blood.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">It took 5 minutes pressing the door buzzer
before we were let into the building. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">The paramedics were already there, getting
her ready to be stretchered off to hospital.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">But this was not the way it was supposed
to end: Abbeyfield, as we were often proudly told, subscribes to the Gold
Standard Framework (GSF), a palliative care arrangement that allows people to
be looked after in care homes. Anticipatory drugs are supposed to be kept on
site, to be administered by on-call District Nurses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Being carted off to hospital is not supposed to be an option for
people who do not want to be resuscitated.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">But Nish, who was in a bit of a panic,
seemed not to know about the GSF. The paramedics didn’t mention it either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had no choice but allow them to take Mum
to Airedale A&E.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">At A&E, the lovely consultant came in
and told us there was nothing they could do except observe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She would, she said, have preferred to
discharge Mum back to Abbeyfield, but this was tricky at 2 o'clock in the
morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So she would admit her for
observation and in the morning the medical team would review her and try to get
her back home as long as the GSF plan was in place.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">At 5am Mum was admitted to the Assessment
Ward but, because of Covid19 regulations, we were not allowed to go with her.
Then, because of Covid19, we were barred from visiting for 24 hours. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">More than 12 hours later, I got the first
hints that Airedale Hospital were intent on ignoring their A&E consultant’s
recommendations:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>they started her on
antibiotics and other medications and gave her an ECG. An exceptionally alert
and smart doctor noticed that one leg was shorter than the other, so ordered a
hip X-Ray. Had he checked her medical notes he would have noticed a hip
replacement from 1997 that explained the abbreviated appendage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">We were outraged that our Mum had to
endure uncomfortable and unnecessary investigations and a futile antibiotic
prescription that served only to give her an unpleasant, painful dose of
thrush. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Another 6 days were to elapse before Mum
got back to Abbeyfield.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were allowed
an hour’s visit every day, though not together. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">During this period, she had 6 changes of
room. She said to me: “<i>I don't know whether I belong over there or over
here; nobody belongs to me and I don't belong to anybody and nobody wants me</i>”.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">We arranged to see the Geriatric
consultant, a Rasheed Mohammed, hoping to give him a piece of our mind. As the time
for the appointment came and went, it became clear that Mohammed had given us
the slip: he was last seen legging it out of the building.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had to make do with chatting to his
Registrar, who knew nothing about how Mum was assessed for treatment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She trotted out the old line about the
decision being taken in the patient’s best interests. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">6 December 2021</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Mum was discharged back to Abbeyfield.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">In an era when the NHS are forever
complaining about elderly patients who bed-block because they have nowhere safe
to go, it seemed ironic that Mum, who <u>did</u> have a safe place to go, was
held back in hospital, against her will.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">10 December 2021</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">We have learned, by chance, that a staff
member has had Covid19 and has recovered OK. It’s been only a year since the
CEO was writing to us telling us of an outbreak so that he could impose a ban
on visits. This time he has been silent.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">11 December 2021</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Dr Summer, Mum’s GP visited. He turned out
to be the husband of the consultant she saw at A&E. He was shocked to learn
about her treatment after she was admitted to hospital. He classified her as
Code Red, meaning she is at the end of her life. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">15 December 2021 </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">The proper staffing level on the day shift
is supposed to be 3 carers. But there have been plenty of occasions when there
only been 2 carers on duty. This, we think, has been the root cause of more
than a few instances of neglect in the past.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Recently though, the staffing situation
seems to have improved. In the last few weeks, there have been at least 3
staff, sometimes 4, on duty. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">We have been observers of what goes on at
Abbeyfield for more than 8 years. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">At the start, we saw ineffective direction
from management, which often seemed quite amateurish. The care was sloppy at
times; there were accidents caused by a lack of common sense; there were
cover-ups; communication wasn’t great. Today, the current crop of seniors has
improved all of the above, though there isn’t much they can do about management
failings. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">There is now an air of efficiency about
the place. Requests we make are not forgotten: action is taken right away and
we are kept informed. Getting information is no longer like drawing blood from
a stone: it’s freely available. Residents continue to be treated with great
respect and good humour, often accompanied by a substantial dollop of patience.
All in all, being a relative of a resident is a much less frustrating business
than it used to be.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">16 December 2021</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">The staff have been leaving their Diary of
Mum’s daily activities in her room. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">We see there are inaccuracies that are
down to the fact that the diary often gets written up at the end of a shift. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">But the most interesting – and concerning
– inaccuracy is more like a falsification. Mum is supposed to get turned in bed
every 4 hours day and night to avoid pressure sores. This was usually
accomplished during the day, though it sometimes stretched to 7 hours. During
the night she would be checked every 2 to 3 hours (by opening her door and
having a quick peek) but not turned. We knew this because we placed a hidden
recorder in her room.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">But the Diary told a different story - it
said that Mum was repositioned every 2 to 4 hours.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">17 December 2021</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Mum has been confined to bed for a while.
She still has plenty of awareness. And is always appreciative of the care she
gets. "<i>It's a lot of work for you. I'm sorry about that</i>", she
said.</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdana;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">The bed, by the way, has a basic pumped air mattress provided
by the NHS. It’s intended to prevent pressure sores. But as bed-bound patients’
skin gets more fragile, a ripple mattress is better. Mum’s carers knew this,
Abbeyfield’s management knew it, yet a mattress was never ordered.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">28 December 2021</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Mum gets turned in bed every 4 hours
(though it sometimes goes to 7 hours) to avoid pressure sores. It’s normal for
2 carers to undertake this task. This afternoon, the deputy manager breezed in
and did the job herself, alone. She preferred to do it on her own, she said.
She had done it so many times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
watched as she turned Mum onto her side, keeping her in position with an elbow
held against her hip, while the other hand cleaned her and changed the pad. It
was slickly and competently done but, I thought, potentially risky. It was a
performance that was meant to impress me and satisfy her ego. But I’m not sure
that it was in my mother’s best interests.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">4 January 2022 </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Mum has been winding down for a while. We
know this because she is quiet, seldom speaking. For a woman with the gift of
the gab, this is remarkable.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">The last thing she said went something
like this: “e<i>veryone, those who feel they are on the outside, should come
into the fold. Ring my friends and tell them. You don't have to wait for a
special occasion. You don't have to wait till you're 100</i>”.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">She sleeps much of the time, waking only
to sip tea or soup. The painful thrush in her mouth bothers her a lot, but
otherwise she seems comfortable.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">13 January 2022 </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Dr M was visiting another resident, but
popped in to see Mum. He looked at her sore, thrush-ridden mouth. He prescribed
Nystatin, even though it is supposed to be swallowed and Mum can barely do
that. He didn’t say much so I checked her online medical notes. They confirmed
Mum’s Code Red classification, meaning she is in her last days of life. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Slipped in at the end of the entry was
this: “<i>Fast track funding.</i>” I looked it up: it means the NHS will now
pay for her care because she is end of life. Why hadn’t Dr M mentioned such an
important thing?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And why hadn’t Dr Summer
applied for Fast Track funding back in December, when he graded Mum as Code
Red, end of life?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">The inscrutability of the medical
profession knows no bounds.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Postcript</span></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">: </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">When I asked, the Ilkley GP practice told me they routinely do
Fast Track referrals for people living at home, not in care homes. </span><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</xml><![endif]--><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN;">Sounds
reasonable,</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> but it’s
against the law: the NHS does not distinguish between the two.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">14 January 2022</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Rude health</span></b></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Until early December 2021, when she was
discharged from hospital and her GP visited to check on her, Mum hadn’t seen a
doctor for nearly 2 years. Now two have visited her in the space of 2 days.
Actually, they were visiting another patient and saw Mum in passing, as it
were. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Dr Senior came into the room with the
deputy manager. She did say "<i>Hello</i>" to Pam, who was sitting in
the corner, before having a quick look at Mum. She then discussed her findings
with the deputy manager, completely ignoring Pam, as though she was not in the
room.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">17 January 2022</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana;"><b>Our Mum has had wonderful care from experienced,
highly skilled carers, many of whom knew her for years. Thank you all so much.</b> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">7 February 2022</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Departure</span></b></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">My brother’s last visit to his mother was
more than 30 months ago. His wife (J) hadn’t seen her for 4 years, his son 5
years. A small group, they stood apart from the other mourners, watching us
walking ahead of Mum’s hearse on its slow approach to the crematorium. If they
felt like outsiders, they didn’t show it. There was minimal contact at the </span><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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that getting to the funeral was easy because the train from London is fast,
cheap and convenient.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So why hadn’t she
</span><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</xml><![endif]--><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: AR-SA;">bothered </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">to visit her mother-in-law during her life?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
didn’t ask.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">G, an old friend of Mum’s (and theirs),
came over, introduced herself </span><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</xml><![endif]--><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: AR-SA;">to Pam</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">, then asked: “<i>did you visit Elizabeth often?</i>”
as though checking on something she had been told: that we had neglected our
mother. </span><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</xml><![endif]--><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: AR-SA;">It seemed rather an insulting thing to say to a
complete stranger. “<i>Indeed we did</i>”, Pam replied, walking away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">We were pleased that Dr S, her former GP,
came to the service. As he hugged us, he said: “<i>You should be very proud of
how you cared for your mum</i>”. Two of Mum’s favourite carers also came. They
were not official representatives, though: Abbeyfield does not do that sort of
thing. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">17 February 2022</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I told my brother that Mum’s ashes had
arrived. He did not respond. We have had a spree of scattering ashes in all
sorts of places associated with her. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">22 March 2022</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Mutiny about the bounty</span></b></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">The Grant of Probate has been issued,
heralding the start of some prolonged wrangling about money with my sibling. To
date he has notified me of 4 lawyers he has supposedly instructed to challenge
Probate and enforce his belief that he is entitled to a large sum from his
mother’s estate. It hasn’t sunk in that she lived so long all her money was
spent on her care. Her Estate is, in fact, insolvent: there is a small deficit;
I am quite sure my brother will not be offering to make up the difference. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">He named Sven, his newly-qualified son, as
one of his lawyers, so I wrote to him, hoping for a rational voice to get
things moving.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sven claimed to know
nothing, but did offer to act as a go-between.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I found my own solicitor, Mewies of
Skipton, who told me to get some insurance and to do nothing for 6 months, when
the time for a legal challenge would have passed. When Mewies sent its bill, it
turned out to be a work of fiction. The firm refused to accept it had done
anything bad, such as commit fraud. But it did reduce the bill. Substantially.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">23 September 2022</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">The deadline for a legal challenge to
Probate having passed, I felt able to send my brother an interim account.
Things are no nearer to being finalised, though. I used the government's Tell
Us Once service to notify its departments about Mum’s death. The DWP replied by
sending a letter of acknowledgement addressed to her at the care home. The Tax
office were silent, so I rang them, expecting to be hit with a tax demand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead, they said she was due a rebate and
the cheque was in the post. They did send a cheque, but someone mangled my
name, making it unusable. I had to phone again to ask for a replacement. This
time they said it would take 4 months to process. A few days later, they sent a
tax demand. When I queried it, I was told that the rebate department and the
billing department at HMRC don’t talk to one another.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Post
Script</span></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">:</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">After 4 months, when the rebate cheque still hadn’t
materialised, I asked our MP to investigate. A week later, the cheque arrived.
Soon afterwards, something extraordinary happened: HMRC phoned me to apologise
for the delay and offered £50 in compensation.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">28 September 2022</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Years ago, I did some work on one of my
brother’s rental properties and billed him for £3K worth of expenses. He agreed
to pay on numerous occasions, but never quite got round to it. Earlier this
year, I asked him again and was told to “<i>fuck off</i>”. Frustrated, I took
out a Moneyclaim against him.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">He responded by calling Pam a “<i>bitch</i>”,
hiring a private detective (so he said) to look for something he could
blackmail her with, and threatened to oppose Probate in the high court.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">29 October 2022</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Sabre rattling</span></b></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">My brother has at last made good his
threats of legal action over Probate: a letter has arrived from Trethowans, a
firm of solicitors. Their Joanna Cox threatened dire consequences if I, as
executor, did not provide estate accounts. She demanded receipts for all
expenses. She gave me 14 days to comply.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Fortunately, I am something of an expert
in probate law (thank you, Google!), so waited a few weeks before sending the
naïve solicitor a polite acknowledgement that ignored her demands with menaces.
I <span style="color: black;">noted, as a means of sowing seeds of doubt in her
mind, that she was the 5th solicitor my brother had used against me that year.</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">4 November 2022</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">A Black Spot day </span></b></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">The deadline for filing a response with
Moneyclaim approaches. This may be why my sibling sent an anonymous letter
direct to Pam earlier today. The writing on the envelope was disguised but the
contents, though unsigned, are in his characteristic handwriting. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">It’s a blackmail letter. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Then, later in the day, Amazon delivered a
wreath addressed to Pam, accompanied by a card inscribed ‘<i>RIP From
Anonymous’</i>. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">She is very upset. We are going to call
the Police tomorrow.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">11 November 2022</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Police Constable 5502 came round and took
a statement from Pam. He logged the complaint as ‘Malicious Communications
0587’. She decided not to take further action for the time being. The case will
remain on file.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">30 November 2022</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">A broadside from The Revenge</span></b></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">My angry sibling tried to get the
Moneyclaim dropped but did not file a response in time for the 16 November
deadline. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">A default judgement was issued against
him. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">He sent an email: “<i>You got CCJ against
me you fucking bastard which means I cant get credit. Ill see you in hell you fucker
and your fucking bitch of a girlfriend. You are a dead man walking when I
finish with you you fucking bastard</i>”. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Like many a gangster (or pirate), my
brother uses threats and blackmail rather than smiles and soap to get his own
way, which is to persuade you that </span><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</xml><![endif]--><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN;">his fantasy world, </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">his dream (as in “<i>living the dream</i>”),
is real. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">2 December 2022</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I like to picture the scene when my
brother presented his credit card, perhaps when dining out with his wife, and
it was declined.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some colourful
language might have ensued. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">In desperation, he persuaded his wife to
write asking me to inform the court that he’d paid up (he had, yesterday).
This, apparently, is the swiftest way to get a County Court Judgement removed
from your credit file.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">5 December 2022</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">A loose cannon</span></b></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Taking advantage of the contact with his
wife (J), I wrote describing what her abusive husband had done and mentioned
his threat of court action over the Estate.</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">She offered to act as a neutral
go-between. In my view, though, J is about as neutral as a bath of acid. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Her first transmission contained an
apology from my brother saying, “<i>I can in no way justify my behaviour except
to say I find it difficult to control my hot headedness</i>”. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">He blamed his bi-polar: “<i>I am now
receiving help from a clinical psychologist to cope with my mood swings</i>”
and: “<i>my attachment to money is holding everyone back including myself as at
our age we should be just enjoying ourselves</i>”.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">All very contrite, but it went only so
far. With no proposals for making good the damage he had caused and none for
dealing with the Estate and other matters, I felt we were back, if not at
square one, then somewhere close by.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">11 December 2022</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Executors are encouraged to be politely
cooperative when hassled by disgruntled beneficiaries. So I put in the hours and
trawled through acres of documents looking for the expense receipts my
brother’s solicitor had demanded. There were lots missing, especially from 10
to 20 years ago. On the plus side, I found several I had forgotten about. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I put them all into a spreadsheet, as
neatly as I could and, with some trepidation, sent them off to Joanna Cox, his
solicitor. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">To my surprise, there were no questions or
hair-splitting. I got no response from the solicitor, but my brother wrote: “<i>I
am happy with all the expenses.</i>” And: “<i>It is just the final balance
sheet that needs to be resolved</i>”. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">There is more than this final balance
sheet, though. Back in 2014, to persuade me to drop a court action against him,
he agreed, through a different solicitor, to pay me 5% interest on my expenses.
He probably hoped his 99-year-old mother would soon be gone and his bill would
be manageable. (When I was in Switzerland shortly afterwards, he emailed: “<i>why
don’t you check out Dignitas?</i>”)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">8 years on, the bill has ballooned to more
than £80K (compound interest might be Einstein’s eighth wonder of the world,
but it’s a nightmare to debtors).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Last
year he acknowledged the calculation by offering to pay me two tranches of £50K
each over the following 6 months. It never happened of course. A few days
later, he wrote: “<i>It seems on further analysis and discussion with my
accountant that in fact I don't owe you anything. The offer is therefore null
& void</i>”. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">5 January 2023</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">The final Estate Account went off by email
today. J, the wifely go-between, acknowledged it, saying she was visiting
family, was on her way home and would forward it to her husband. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Thing is, they’d just posted an Instagram
of themselves, together, at a ski resort in France …...</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">10 January 2023</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Still at loggerheads</span></b></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">As he’d said earlier, the final balance
sheet needs to be resolved, so he sent it to his accountant, who reported back
with some claims. Thing is, it was obvious from the style of the remarks and
their amateurish nature that my brother had written them himself.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">One of the claims concerned the
arrangements I made for paying for Mum’s care home fees: “<i>the local
authority would have, in practice, paid the balance of the care home fees and
taken a charge against the Estate. In summary, you did not take reasonable
steps to mitigate your costs in relation to the care home fees.” </i></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">The ‘accountant’ misunderstood two things.
First, Bradford Met, the LA, was not legally obliged to offer what is known as
a Deferred Payment Agreement (DPA). I did ask for one, but was refused.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Second, had a DPA been granted, it would
only have paid the fees that Mum herself was responsible for: because she could
only afford 35% of the fees (plus an LA subsidy of 20%), I provided the
balance, known as a top-up. With a DPA in place and the subsidy removed, my
top-ups would have increased dramatically. The local authority recoups its
contributions, with added interest, when the house is sold. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">13 January 2023</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I chanced upon a recent social media post
by a man who had cared for his father: </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">“</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">This was
a choice that I made and do not regret. It was not easy as there were
times when my life was on hold. I would not change any part of that as it
was important for me to provide the best care for my father that I could, in
the same way he completely supported me as a child.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">”</span></i></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">My brother’s wife, J, posted a comment: “<i>Well
done Pallvi for caring for your Father and for highlighting the impact of
caring for others!</i>”</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">She has never given <u>us</u> any praise
for looking after her mother-in-law. On the contrary, we strongly suspect they
have both been slagging us off to their friends.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">20 January 2023</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Curiouser and curiouser</span></b><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> </span></b></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Received a message ostensibly sent by my
brother’s accountant, one named SAB.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Curiously, these are the initials of his son, who is a lawyer. More
curiously, the ‘From' line in the email address displayed my brother’s name and
photo. SAB’s first paragraph read:</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">“</span><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">N has forwarded me your
response via his wife. Please note that J is not happy being a go between and
will be confirming as such shortly. SAB” </span></i></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Wondering why an accountant would be
concerned with such matters, I asked his wife for confirmation, writing:</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">“Working out what is true
in N’s statements has never been easy (he has become an arch manipulator who
uses deception, as well as intimidation, to achieve his ends). Perhaps you
could confirm the veracity of this email from his ‘accountant’</span></i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">.” </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">She replied that the email <u>was</u> from
her husband's accountant, but that she was still acting as the neutral
go-between. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">‘Acting’ seems to be the operative word
here.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">25 January 2023</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">A quantum of nonsense</span></b></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">SAB, my brother’s phantom ‘accountant’,
has written attaching this statement from his ‘client’:</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">“...<i>using strict accountancy criteria and case law, .. far
from there being a deficit in the</i> [Estate] <i>account, there is in fact a
surplus...</i>” </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">This seems to contradict his: “<i>I am
happy with all the expenses</i>” endorsement of 11 December. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">When dealing with my brother, you have to
accept that the Earth may be spherical one day, but flat the next. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">SAB went on: “<i>As there is no wish on
the part of NB to prolong this dispute and incur further legal and accountancy
costs it is proposed that as previously proposed that NB will sign off the
estate accounts as long as it is agreed that there is and will not be any
further liability or claim against him</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><i>Regards</i> <i>SAB”</i> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">So, the Estate Accounts <u>are </u>accurate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But they become inaccurate when he’s being
hassled for money.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Schrödinger’s cat
would have understood the paradox. Probably.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">30 January 2023</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">A long shot</span></b></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Following his refusal to sign the Estate
Accounts unless I drop the claim against him, my sibling conjured up a debt
owed to him, writing that he “<i>will forgo the sum owed of approximately
£15000 as long as no further claims are made against either party”</i></span>.<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">5 February 2023</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">My baby brother has written to advise that he will be claiming his travel and hotel expenses for visiting his mother in her care home. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">As he only saw her twice a year on
average, it shouldn’t amount to very much.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">In the same email he (still masquerading
as the mystery accountant) wrote:<i> “Sven </i>[his son]<i> has asked NB
to pass on the happy news that he is getting married and you will soon be both
receiving a wedding invitation. He is asking about your
succession plans as he is your closest blood relative...(i.e. your Will).
Perhaps you would be kind enough to elucuidate </i>[sic] <i>on this matter</i>”.
</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">He evidently thinks his son is entitled to
receive a financial provision from his uncle, a notion that fits in with an
earlier complaint of his:<span style="color: black;"> “<i>you haven't put your
hand in your pocket to help with </i>[his private] <i>school fees</i>”.</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">This delusion, among others, was
protected by a Without Prejudice label. </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">11 February 2023</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Poles apart</span></b></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Regarding my brother’s offer to pay interest on my expenses, he
tells me he “<i>had assumed that the interest was for one moment in
time...ie the principal times 5%. Otherwise if ESB had lived until the
oldest woman in the world (119 years) then he would owe an enormous sum</i>.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Well, yes, you would owe quite a lot unless the agreement
stated that it was for a limited period only. Which it didn’t.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">In the same email, I am told that “<i>N's life has been
"on hold" since the age of 20/21 with an incurable condition called
"bipolar 2 disorder" which comprises moderate/severe depressions in
the winter</i>”.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">I am familiar with the bipolar claim - N used it in an attempt
to pull a sickie and adjourn the hearing in my 2014 court claim against him.
But the judge was having none of it: the hearing went ahead without him. He
lost.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">5 March<a name="__DdeLink__18_149961370011"> 2023</a></span><span style="mso-bookmark: __DdeLink__18_149961370011;"></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm; mso-line-height-alt: 8.0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="mso-bookmark: __DdeLink__18_149961370011;"><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Booty from the beast</span></b></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Sent brother N a heavily-discounted final demand, one tailored to the £10K threshold of the Small Claims Court. Got an instant
acceptance and a payment of half the bill, with the rest following 2 weeks
later.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">But shortly before the final payment was due, he resumed his bullying tactics, demanding an undertaking not to make any
more claims against him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or else … he
would withhold the balance.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I ignored this, instead asking if he’d reappraised his view of how we’d cared for his mother over the past 13
years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having to say something nice
about us would, I reckoned, involve a certain amount of squirming insincerity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I was not wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He, or perhaps it was a <a name="__DdeLink__2_1772026453">parrot
GPT bot</a>, wrote: “<i>we are extremely grateful that you were able to look
after Mum so well … it must have been very challenging and stressful at times …
although I guess at times rewarding. Thanks once again for your sterling work</i>”.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 3.0pt; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 3pt 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">It was nice to learn we’d been rewarded.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In sterling?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Might he cross my palm with silver?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 3.0pt; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 3pt 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">No, not by a long squawk:</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 3.0pt; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 3pt 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">‘<i>Pieces of eight, pieces of eight</i>’, as the flint-hearted parrot might have taunted when making last December’s £100K fantasy 'offer'.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 3.0pt; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 3pt 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Well, the last few years have certainly been a rum do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 3.0pt; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 3pt 1cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">But little does the parrot know I’m having the last laugh:<b></b></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 1.0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; margin: 0cm 0cm 0cm 1cm;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Yo ho ho</span></b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">.</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> <span> <span> </span> <br /></span></span></p><br />Vadlizhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03614537297516619742noreply@blogger.com0